A Neatly Sorted Mess

Smartballs Teneo Uno

2011-07-10T12:12:00.000-05:00

I love the idea behind kegel balls. A toy you can wear around as a reminder to keep your muscles in shape? Count me in! The problem I've always had, though, is that kegel balls usually come in attached pairs that are just too long for me to wear comfortably for any length of time. Enter stage left: the Smartballs Teneo Uno, a single kegel ball from Fun Factory, similar to the original Smartballs but with an updated silicone skin and handy little comfort features.

It comes in amazing colors, too!

This is a pretty sizable ball - 1.5 inches across - so it's not exactly something I can pop in unprepared in the morning on my way out the door. I have to be pretty turned on to start with to get it in place easily - which is a little odd for something touted for "maintenance" rather than part of masturbation. Though the silicone itself is soft and velvety, the core is rock hard, so there's no flex to the body. A little lube goes a long way to making this easier to use, but I still got a lot of resistance, mostly due to the ridges. But that little dip on the base of the toy? WAY more helpful than I'd ever expected. Having the indent makes it much easier to insert without having to worry about my finger slipping off and stabbing myself in my labia.

Another thing that's way more awesome than I could have imagined? The silicone string. It's soft, flexible, and not at all poky. The best part of all for me is that it's long enough that I can pull it forward once I have my ball in place and kind of "wrap" around my clit - so I get a little dual stimulation with every step. And when I give that little string a tug? Perfection. It pulls the Uno up against my g-spot and slides the string across my clit.

The inner ball creates small vibrations which are easy to feel in my hand, but once the ball is inserted they're not very noticeable. At least, not when walking around normally - more exaggerated hip sways get the inner ball really rolling, but unless you're going to be doing lots of belly dancing or hooping they probably won't come into play much. Where this ball really excels is g-spot pressure - I don't even care that I'm not getting the little rolling buzz because the shape of the ball is so wonderful. With the Uno set in just the right place, the little ridges rub and exert pressure across all the right areas and makes the ball do its job - it keeps me very aware of my muscles because squeezing them just makes it feel even better. It's not the effortless, "you'll do it naturally with no thought" type kegeling that the summary mentions, but I don't think any ball is really going to make that happen.

For the most part, I just use the Uno at home when I feel like doing kegels and playing tug-o-war. I get much, much more out of being able to squeeze my muscles and freely tug and pull the string for resistance. I haven't actually spent a lot of time wearing this in day-to-day situations, partially because it gets me very wet (which can be awkward) and partially because after more than 45 minutes or so it starts to get uncomfortable. I think it's just a little too large and textured for me to keep inside when I'm not already turned on.

Pleasurists #136

2011-06-29T12:10:00.000-05:00

via MaleSubmissionArt
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. If you like what you see and want more of it be sure to follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists #135? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #137? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday July 3rd @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Want a shiny new toy? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Wecome Back S Spot Giveaway! Deadline: June 28th.
True’s 4th Anniversary Giveaway! Deadline: July 2nd @ 7pm Central.
Pleasure My Spot $25. Gift Card Giveaway Deadline: July 4th @ 11:59pm Eastern.
Tenga Double Hole Sleeve Giveaway Deadline: July 7th.
Giveaway! Deadline: July 15th @ Midnight Mountain.
Crystal Causes $12,000 sex toy giveaway & community fundraiser Deadline: July 31st.
Buy Short Erotic Story PURR And Win A Free Sex Toy! Deadline: July 31st.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus
On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dildos

Enhancement Enterprises Water Pump by Teagan Shepard
Ocean Breeze by padme amidala
Love Bump by Red Vinyl Kitty
The Buster by Kate
First Mate by Kate
Nexus Gyro by Bzzingbee
Tantus Goddess by Lucid Obsession
Your Highness by Naughty Snow White
Tantus Realdoe by Toys in Love

Anal Toys

Nexus O by Andy

Toys for Cocks

Magnetic Power Ring by Bob Brown

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books & Games

The Hot Guide to Safer Sex by Mistress Kay

Adult DVDs & Porn

Sex Furniture

Liberator Kiss Wedge by Amber St. Clare

Lingerie

Miscellaneous

Pleasurists #132

2011-05-30T15:55:00.000-05:00

Condom Garters by trajedichampagne
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. If you like what you see and want more of it be sure to follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists #131? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #133? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday June 5th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Want a shiny new toy? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Win a Violet Fun Factory Share! Deadline: May 31st @ 11am Central.
May Contest Giveaway – The Double Diver Deadline: May 31st @ 10pm Eastern.
Win Blossom Organics Arousal Gel from Babeland.com! Deadline: May 31st @ 11:59pm.
Coochy Shave Gift Pack Giveaway Deadline: May 31st.
Flexi Felix Giveaway! Deadline: May 31st.
Smartballs Teneo Giveaway Deadline: June 1st.
Giveaway: Nosy Toyfriend Deadline: June 1st.
Twilite Massager Giveaway Deadline: June 3rd.
Delicate Illusions Plus Sized Swimsuit Giveaway Deadline: June 4th.
$30 ToysForSex.co Giveaway Deadline: June 4th.
EdenFantasys $25 Gift Card Deadline: June 4th.
Crystal Causes $12,000 sex toy giveaway & community fundraiser Deadline: July 31st.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus
On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Diving Dolphin by Teagan Shepard

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books & Games

Nookii Confidential by Mistress Kay

Adult DVDs & Porn

Lingerie

Sexy Little Miss Muffet by Red Vinyl Kitty

Miscellaneous

JeJoue Ami by Sexorcism

Fun Factory Click 'n' Charge Angelo

2011-05-28T18:33:00.000-05:00

Ahh, Fun Factory - one of the forerunners in my list of favorite toy manufacturers. The colors, the shapes, the vibrations, and velvety silicone all combine to make some of the most interesting and versatile products available in the great big world of sex toys. The latest addition to my collection is the Click 'n' Charge Angelo (not to be confused with the older, battery operated model Angelo), and it definitely lives up to my expectations.

Angelo's vibrations, much like the rest of Fun Factory's toys, are absolutely delicious. They're nice and deep, rumbly and strong, all wrapped up in a portable little package. The vibrations are stronger than any of the paired AA or AAA bullets I have, and though they aren't quite as strong as the larger Fun Factory toys (the Smartvibes), they do over power the other rechargeable toys I've tried like the Lelo Liv. They're controlled by the simple plus and minus buttons, with 9 levels of strength in all (though the first is so gently and low that I can barely feel it). After reaching the highest level, holding the plus button switches to the three vibration patterns. They're a pretty standard pulse, speedy pulse, and wave pattern. The silicone is matte, velvety, and generously layered over the mechanical parts giving the whole toy a plush and squeezable feel.

My favorite use for Angelo is as a clitoral stimulator. It excels at that because the shape and texture on the toy give me a couple options to choose from: the most obvious being the tip for pin point stimulation, the indented curve right above the tip works to cup my clit, and using the back side of the head gives me the option for more diffuse vibrations and a really smooth surface. Essentially, no matter what mood my clit is in I can find a position on Angelo that makes me happy. Since the tip is solid silicone (whereas in the body there are firm mechanical part covered by squishy silicone) there's a little bit of give and flex, but still enough firmness that I can use lots of pressure without bending the end sideways.

As a G-spotter, I find myself torn about Angelo. On one had, the curved tip is easy to get to just the right spot, and the vibrations are excellent. The relative flexibility of the tip in comparison to the body isn't even an issue - it stands up to the pressure and speed I need for g-spotting. The so called "feathers" of texture on the sides of Angelo are enjoyable without being overwhelming and painful (which is saying something, considering how quickly texture can do me in), and add just enough extra stimulation to make the shaft feel a little girthier than it really is. Unfortunately, the way I feel most comfortable holding the toy while thrusting leaves me with my thumb right on top of the minus button. Nothing is more frustrating than accidentally turning down the vibration in the middle of play, and I find myself unconsciously shifting back to the "bad" hand position if I try and hold the end in a different spot.

The Click 'n' Charge system is a really handy feature, and I prefer it to other rechargeable vibes with an open port. It's nice to not have another little cranny to worry about getting dirty, not to mention the lack of a port makes the Angelo completely water proof. The charge cord snaps into place in one position (and it's not hard to find, the magnets go where they need to be), and glows red while charging. It can be a little finicky, simply because the toy is rather curvy and prone to rolling, while the charger wants to be kept almost perfectly level to stay connected. Propping the vibe up against a solid surface (I usually lean it against my alarm clock) keeps it from accidentally coming undone.

Astute readers might recall that I also have Fun Factory's Spring vibe. Though these two are quite similar in style, I do find myself reaching for Angelo more than the Spring. I like Angelo's slightly larger size, the more pin point tip for clitoral stimulation, and the curve and extra bit of girth make it much more enjoyable internally.
Also, it's orange. That gives Angelo about 500 extra points in the visual appeal department, because, I mean. Fluorescent. Orange. Vibrator. It's beautiful, bright, and fun. What more can I say? (Aside from I love having options that are so very not pink!)

Gush: The Official Guide to the G-spot and Female Ejaculation

2011-05-24T17:09:00.001-05:00

I wasn't really sure what to expect from Gush, the latest in a long line of films by Good Releasing. Of course reading the back of the DVD case clued me in to the gist - some Q&A, some show and tell, supposedly all wrapped up in a hot and sexy package. Sounds like an interesting deal, but as it turns out it's a little muddled.

The main portion of Gush is the Q&A "talk show" with Dr. Carol Queen and Michelle Meow in a radio studio, mixed up with sex scenes that help to illustrate the questions Dr. Queen covered. In theory, it sounds like a good idea, but it made the questions and porn both feel rather choppy and disconnected. Though the questions were kinda-sorta related to what the performers were doing, there wasn't enough continuity for me to really get into the scenes before they were cut off again. I can understand why they tried to intersperse them, since the talk show on its own wasn't particularly interesting in spite of Dr. Queen's sweet and approachable manner of addressing her callers. Were her answers to the questions good? Without a doubt. She completely avoided saying there was "one way" to find your G-spot, or that you'd need a certain $200 dollar toy or anything of that nature. But the questions themselves just felt... scripted and awkward. There wasn't really a direction to them, and it definitely wasn't any sort of progressive, guided tour of the G-spot. If I didn't already know where my G-spot was, I can't say that these questions really would have done anything to help me find it. In fact I'd say Good Vibes online how-to article, G-spot and Female Ejaculation, is a better basic primer than the radio show.

The sex scenes and couples were just as diverse as I expected from the description on the box. The couples are Syd Blackovich and Sophia St. James in the first scene, then Mirabelle Hayes and Maxwell Silver, Jiz Lee in a solo scene, Dylan Ryan and Mickey Mod (a rather long scene with an "plot" intro and two different locations), and the final scene has Gloria and Altair Shadow. Being focused on the G-spot, there's tooooooooons of fingering and lots of G-spot toys to be found through out all of the scenes, as well as safe sex practices and lube. Though they're supposed to be instructional (I think), they kind of... aren't. They're closer to scenes of normal people having sex, without any regard to teaching technique. The only two scenes that really appealed to me in any case were Jiz Lee's solo scene and the long scene with Dylan and Mickey. They just seemed to have the most fire and chemistry (is it possible to say someone in a solo scene had chemistry with themselves? Whatever, Jiz rocked it.) out of all the performers. There was nothing wrong with the other scenes, per se, but they didn't really strike any chords and I just felt like hitting fast forward.

The extras actually turned out to be more interesting and informative than the main Q&A, especially the 25 minute clip "G-spot Hunting with Dr. Carol." It was much more what I was expecting to see in the main feature on the DVD - talking about the G-spot, women's anatomy, pleasure cycles, and various myths. There's also a 45 minute slide show with Sheri Winston (a certified nurse and midwife), where she talks over slides covering the detailed features of arousal and anatomy. The animations on the slides aren't particularly good, but it is pretty interesting to watch if you really want an in depth look at anatomy. The last extra section had cast interviews, which I thought was the most helpful piece in regards to actual experiences with locating your G-spot and hearing women's real experiences and physical feelings.

So, all in all, I think if you're terribly curious to see everything, your best bet would to be to spring for one of the stream-to-own options, or see if you can convince your library (depending on how progressive it is about it's sexuality section) to get a copy of Gush. The information is interesting and the extras are very helpful, but I don't think I'll reach for this DVD again for the main feature.

Tantus Little Secret Spoon

2011-05-13T17:49:00.000-05:00

I'm a sucker for little battery operated bullets. Though I know they generally can't provide the strength or rumbliness of larger vibes, I can't resist the urge to try and find one that works well so I'll have something awesome for travel. Needless to say, Tantus' new line of mini vibrators, the Little Secrets piqued my interest - not a small part of that was due to the amazing colors of the sleeves, I'll admit.

Yes, I did immediately ruin the box with

my awesome package opening skills.

I chose the Spoon, the fluorescent orange little G-spotter. Overall it's a little over four inches in length, the sleeve being about 3.25" with the butt of the bullet making up the rest. The bullet that's included looks and feels just like a silver version of the RO-80mm bullet I reviewed previously, though it is from Levett rather than RO. To quickly recap - it runs on an N battery, is rather strong (stronger than watch battery bullets, in the area of two AAA style large vibes), but it's buzzy. The vibrations are very pin point, focused in the tip, and on its own I found the bullet overpowering to use for more than a few minutes use.

My black RO bullet, the silver bullet that comes in the package, and the sleeve

The sleeve is everything I've come to love from Tantus silicone - plush but firm, with a shiny finish that slicks up like a dream with a drop of lube. The head of the Spoon is a solid blob of silicone, making the first inch fairly sturdy, while the rest is hollow and flexible (to accommodate the bullet, obviously), and it all transfers vibration very well. I tend to use a good amount of pressure on my clit with any toy, and I found that the head on this one tended to bend back a little while I was using it, right where the solid silicone ends. It was easy to find the right angle to keep it flat where I wanted it, though, and once in place it was perfect. The head provides a larger area of vibration than the bullet on its own, and it's more diffuse, making it much easier for me to use multiple times in a row.

Though the Spoon is marketed for G-spotting, I didn't particularly love it for that. It's just a little too small and flexible to really work for me - it reminds me of a slightly more rounded, flexible Lelo Ella in shape, which I didn't particularly like for G-spotting either. Things that are soft but very large (e.g. Vixen Creations' Buck or Maverick) work better for me in that regard, so I think for me it's just down to this particular shape not working with my anatomy.

Since the bullet comes out, obviously you can try anything you like in place of the standard issue one. The sleeve does fit quite a few of my other slimline toys and mini bullets, so if you have another little bullet that you want a sleeve for I wouldn't hesitate to pick up one of the Tantus Little Secrets instead of the usual junky sleeves. The Spoon sleeve also fits my middle finger really well - creating potential for an awesome Little Secret puppet show with its brethren - but more practically it works as a kind of finger-extension for internal stimulation, which could be very useful if you like the shapes and just want a little bit more from your finger banging sessions.

So all around, I really do like my Little Secret as a clitoral vibe. It's easy to store, and easy to use during partnered sex without it getting in the way. Also? It's ORANGE. I can't get over how amazing and vibrant this silicone is - I know that's a little silly, but I'm tired of everything small and travel friendly being bright pink and making me want to vomit, or black and easy to lose in the bottom of a bag. My little Spoon is a great balance, I think.

I was sent my Little Secret from Tantus Direct, and if you choose to buy one from them I'd definitely suggest taking a look at their closeouts for an awesome discontinued toy on the cheap. You can also use "NEATLYSORTED10" at checkout for 10% off your Little Secret vibe!

BabeLube Natural

2011-04-27T13:46:00.000-05:00

BabeLube Natural is one of the latest and greatest water based formulations of lubricant made for Babeland by Sliquid. It's a lusciously thick type this time - described as a gel rather than the usual thin liquidy stuff - made up of primarily organic ingredients:

Purified water, plant cellulose (from cotton), aloe barbadensis (moisturizing and soothing), natural tocopherols (Vitamin E), carrageen (linked in some studies to preventing HPV transmission), extracts of hibiscus, flax (healing and emollient), alfalfa, green tea (anti-inflammatory) and sunflower seed, potassium sorbate, citric acid (from citrus fruits)

It is also vegan, cruelty free, paraben and glycerin free, and contains no other type of artificial sweetener, which is nice for us particularly sensitive folk.

This lube comes packed in the same 4.2 ounce sized bottle as the smaller Sliquid lubes, only in a dark blue shade with a black cap. The bottle and cap are just as sturdy as the regular type, thankfully - the cap still stays closed no matter what type of jumbled drawer it's thrown in, and the lube dispenses easily without oozing out all over the place and gumming things up.

BabeLube Natural is described as tasteless and odorless on the site, but there is a very very faint hint of something botanical to it. It's nothing that bothers me, and it's really just a tinge of a scent. It's something I really didn't notice until I stuck my nose right on the opening of the bottle - it's not so noticeable once you have your lube squeezed out and spread around.

As for the most important part of all, the texture? It is glorious. This isn't one of those lubes that claims to be thick and ends up being just shy of water, nor is it one that goes too far in the other direction and ends up acting like rubber cement. BabeLube Natural hits the sweet spot - it's definitely a thick gel type lube, but it's so slick and spreadable that it works for everything. It feels cushy without feeling like it's in the way or muting sensation. Even better, it leaves no residue at all. I squirted a bit out onto the back of my hand, and made 177 circles with my fingertip before it felt like the lube was gone. It didn't feel like it was dried out and flaky; it just absorbed into my skin leaving it feeling nice and moisturized.

And for comparison on the number of circles I can make with various other lubes (just what I have on hanging around at the moment, all water based):

Sliquid H2O: 92
Regular BabeLube (old formula, 4oz tube): 96

Ride H2O: 146

Carrageenan: 84

So you can see my joy at getting this lube: BabeLube Natural outperforms even my old favorite from Sliquid, Ride H2O, which is a thick, gel-like lube as well, marketed for anal sex (though it's meant for sex for MENZ hence the MANLY NAME AND DESIGN RAWR). Side by side, BL Natural is a little slicker, and little thicker, and all around just a little better at giving the feel I like to get from a lubricant. It clings to dildos and vibrators just as well as it clings to living flesh, and it's really awesome to have a toy make it from lube application on the side table to my vagina without little drips of lube following the toy across the bed.

Upside down bottle, open cap - no dripping!

In my experience, this lube really only takes one application for a 20-ish minute romp. The addition of natural fluids keeps it from even thinking about drying up, and when I'm done it still feels rather slick. For something like a hand job that gets a good deal of air contact, or anal which just requires a bit more care, you might end up wanting to reapply just to stay on the safe side. Since it's water based, it's easy to rinse away with very little effort and I haven't had it stain anything it's gotten on (t-shirts, pants, or sheets).

From now on, I think BabeLube Natural is going to be my go-to when I need to buy more lube. Really, I have only one complaint - where's the 16 ounce size?!

Pleasurists #127

2011-04-26T12:32:00.002-05:00

Beauty on the rocks by I-V-S
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. If you like what you see and want more of it be sure to follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists #126? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #128? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form to submit before Sunday May 1st @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Want a shiny new toy? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Win a Massager, a Vibrator or a Rabbit. Deadline: April 27th @ 12pm Eastern.
Radical Relay for Life Raffle Deadline: April 29th @ Midnight Pacific.
Starlet Toyfriend Giveaway Deadline: April 29th.
$25 EdenFantasys Gift Card Giveaway Deadline: April 30th.
Sex Toy Reviewers Shopping Spree Contest Deadline: April 30th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
April is Green Sex Toy Month! 30 Toys for 30 Days Deadline: April 30th.
Win a Butterfly Vibrator Deadline: April 30th.
Giveaway: Trust Massage Oil Deadline: May 1st.
Groovy Chick Giveaway! Deadline: May 6th @ Noon Central.
Suede Fantasy Kit Giveaway Deadline: May 6th.
Pub Crawl Passport Deadline: May 10th.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow is a LGBTQI Pride-Inspired Dildo Just for You! Deadline: May 25th @ 11am Central.
Coochy Shave Gift Pack Giveaway Deadline: May 31st.
Win Blossom Organics Arousal Gel from Babeland.com! Deadline: May 31st @ 11:59pm.
Crystal Causes $12,000 sex toy giveaway & community fundraiser Deadline: July 31st.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus
On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Aneros Vice by Jake Holden
Sasha Grey Signature Plug by Pixel Kitten
Fun Factory Duke by Toys in Love
Pop Plug by Kate

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Bad Kitty Collar by Lucid Obsession

Adult Books/Games

Adult DVDs & Porn

Lingerie

Miscellaneous

Vanity Vr5 by Jopen

2011-04-18T15:53:00.000-05:00

When I first started seeing the new line of toys called Vanity by Jopen around the blogosphere, I got really excited - they looked like they'd be contenders for the established luxury lines such as LELO, Fun Factory, and Zini. Sure, they only came in purple (and an odd fuchsia purple, at that), but surely they could outperform their boring coloring? Right?

Well, as it turns out, yes and no. The Jopen Vr5 has some nice features, but they're overridden by a lot of little things that make the toy hard to use. The controls are very simple, which I actually enjoy - two buttons, one for the arm, one for the shaft. Click and hold to increase the power, and click it again to shut it off. Holding the button down while it's already on lets you increase the power even more without shutting it off. If you want a slower speed after being at a higher one, or you end up going a little too high, you do have to shut the toy off and try again as there's no way to back it down. I tend not to change speeds much when I masturbate, however if you like to start slow, go up, and then go down again you may find that particular feature very annoying.

The charge port was a little awkward for me at first. I saw from the diagram (I'd like to note that the diagram shows 'vibration 2' on the shaft when it should point to the clitoral arm.) that it was supposed to be on the back somewhere, but it's marked in the same color as the rest of the shaft with only a raised circle so it's kind of incognito. It looked more like some sort of copyright mark than a port. That doesn't bother me so much as the fact that getting the plug into the actual charge port takes a little finagling - the little hole in the back of my Vr5 didn't seem to be lined up exactly over the port. So a little wriggling of the plug and "is this the right spot? No? Here?" and a hard shove got it charging. I was honestly a little worried I was going to break something, it took that much force... but the buttons lit up red while it was charging, and shut off to let me know when it was finished.

Speaking of the surface of the toy, though it does seem to be 100% silicone, it's not "virtually seamless" as claimed. There's a distinct seam running over the middle of the toy, all the way around. I assume it's from whatever molding process they use to create the halves. Happily enough, the seam is very soft - if trashy looking - and it doesn't bother me the way the seam and letters on my LELO Ella did.

A huge issue that I found the first time I turned the toy on was the incredible discrepancy between the type of vibrations in the clitoral arm and the shaft. I actually turned the shaft on first, and I was pleasantly surprised - eager, even. The vibrations are unabashedly strong, deep, thrummy, and delicious. They traveled pretty well along the shaft, but were mostly focused in the tip (more on how that ended up being annoying later). Powerful, but they didn't made the handle part vibrate so much my fingers would go numb. Clicking on the clitoral arm was all the more disappointing because of that initial excitement - the vibrations are powerful, in their way, but high pitched and buzzy. Disgustingly so. Almost like they were trying to mock me for thinking how wonderful it was that my hands wouldn't be going numb. Touching the clitoral attachment to my nose made my face itch and my eyes water - the vibrations were borderline numbing in their power. It boggles my mind that someone chose to skip a second motor with the deep power of the shaft.

As for the noise level... with all the power, there is quite a bit of noise. It's definitely louder than a fan on low, or quiet music. Letting it touch the bed while it's on makes the whole mattress reverberate with a metallic hum. Covering it up if you need to will require a good bit of surrounding sound - music with a steady beat at moderate volume, probably combined with a fan on a medium setting to be safe. They aren't high pitched and squally, though, nor do they have that really nasty loud grinding sound some toys get.

This is the arm at full extension, and it's really the only part that flexes.

The biggest issue I have though is that the toy is just so inflexible. The outer layer is velvety silicone, but it's a very thin covering over a rock hard body of mechanical parts. It's not just that it's hard - I've experimented with glass, metal, and of course hard plastic before,and even LELO's vibes are silicone over a hard body - but rabbit vibes have to work twice as hard as any "single use" toy to accommodate each person's individual anatomy. It makes no sense to me to make something that has only one really adjustable point: the clitoral arm. That little clit attachment does have a fairly good range of up and down reach, but it's short, so it won't actually reach very far out. That means (at least for me) it's impossible to have the internal vibrations hitting my g-spot and have the arm hit my clitoris.

The only way I can get the clitoral arm to reach the area I actually want it to is to fully insert the shaft of the toy. I can do that, the toy isn't so long that it smashes my cervix or anything, but... I completely lose the enjoyment I got from the shaft in the first place. Yes, I can still feel the vibrations, but they're kind of lost way back in the deepest part of my vagina. I want all that deep vibration up front, right on my g-spot and those super sensitive nerves at my entrance. It's maddening. I think if they'd focused the vibrations in the first bump of the shaft rather than the second, it would've made for a much more enjoyable experience.

Included charger and storage bag.

I've also heard that Jopen is a division of California Exotic Novelties - and I don't quite get why they tried to hide that. It's never mentioned anywhere on the box, or the Jopen website, but Babeland does list all their Jopen stuff under the C.E.N. tab. Perhaps they thought people had too many associations with cheap toys and trashy packaging to think they could do a luxury line? I don't know. They seem to be moving in the right direction, but for the price the Jopen line is going for I'd rather have something from Fun Factory or LELO, where I know the performance will be awesome and the toy will last for a long time.

The Jopen rabbits just seem to be far too anatomy dependent to risk buying without a bit of research. I honestly thought the Vr5 would be the best shape for me based on pictures and measurements... and it does come pretty close. But all those issues mentioned above just make me think it's going to be far too easy for someone to end up with a really expensive dud, especially if they don't know exactly what type of dual stimulator works for them.

I was given the Vr5 by Babeland as a test run, so it's currently not listed on their website. However, they do have three other Jopen models you can check out.

Fairy Pocket Mini

2011-03-24T14:08:00.003-05:00

Most wand style vibrators intimidate me a little bit - they're generally very large, very loud, and insanely powerful sex toys. I got to play with a Hitachi once, and I couldn't imagine ever being able to comfortably use it, and that fact far outweighed any positives that its ridiculous power might bring to the bedroom. I wanted something smaller. Palm sized. Something that didn't sound like a runaway band-saw. I found all of that wrapped up in the (sickeningly adorable) package that is the Fairy Pocket Mini USB.

The Fairy Pocket Mini is, as its name implies, an itsy bitsy version of the old mega sized wand vibes. The packaging is pretty hilarious - it's covered in "engrish" phrasing - most of it only half intelligible, except what looks like a copy-pasted general warning about avoiding use on damaged/inflamed tissue. Once you're past the bubblegum pink exterior, though, you'll find this dainty wand to be surprisingly powerful. To me, it seems to be at least 3/4ths the power of the Hitachi. Considering its size - it barely reaches 5.75 inches from tip to tip - and the fact that it's rechargeable, that's pretty surprising.

As implied in the name, it recharges by USB and USB only. While plugged in the tail end glows a bright shade of blue until it's finished charging, and the toy gets a little bit warm during the process. My wand only took about 45 minutes to charge when it first arrived (the package says 90 minutes... but it's never taken mine that long, and this toy doesn't come pre-charged) and has lasted a good hour to hour and a half of use each time. It doesn't lose it's charge if left to sit unused for a few days or week either. Aside from the charge cord and wand itself, the FPM comes with a little wrist strap that can be tied on the end like a phone charm. I haven't attached mine, because I don't think I've ever flailed around so much while using a toy that I'd have to worry about throwing or dropping it. It could be useful if you tend to get your vibe very slick with lube, though.

Size comparison: two AAA batteries, RO-80 bullet, the FPM, & a random pocket rocket

The vibrations are controlled by the little switch on the side. You have two options: holy crap or HOLY CRAP!! The "low" setting is quite strong, with moderately rumbly type vibrations, whereas the high setting is very strong but in comparison quite buzzy feeling. Since the wand is so small, the vibrations feel VERY focused and pin-point through the head. The head itself is rounded, soft and flexible, and the vibrations stay strong even when I used a good deal of downward pressure. They do weaken somewhat if you bend the neck at an angle, though. I find it easiest to use this toy over underwear or thin pajama bottoms, otherwise I end up feeling over stimulated after a few minutes. It does get me to orgasm very quickly - generally in 5 minutes or less - as long as I don't over do it with direct contact.

Top view of the FPM wand, the tip is only about the size of a nickle.

As for the noise level, it's not particularly note worthy. It isn't whisper quiet or anything, but it's a moderate pitch that's easily muffled by a fan or music. The high setting is a good bit louder than the lower one, which isn't surprising considering the jump in power. There are only two minor issues I have with the Fairy Pocket Mini - the first is that I wish there was a bit more range in vibration - the jump between the two settings is pretty substantial. Hopefully the manufacturer can figure out how to get a scrolly wheel like the larger Fairy Mini has. The other is that the charge port has no cover, which makes cleaning the toy a little awkward. You can slap a little bit of waterproof tape over the hole, but that does leave the toy looking a little ghetto.

In all, I'm very pleased with the Fairy Pocket Mini. It packs tons of power into a teeny, portable package.

Thanks go to My Pleasure for providing this wonderful wand!

Win some green...

2011-03-01T13:23:00.003-06:00

Sex toys, that is.

The always awesome Epiphora is hosting a massive give away over on her blog - "for St. Patrick’s Day, yes. But mostly for green." That's something I think everyone can get behind, because really, we need more colors than electric pink in our toy boxes.

Plus, LOOK AT ALL THE AWESOME STUFF. Personally, I love the look of the Papaya Toys Turtle - but there's something for everyone, so get crackin' on building up entries.

Pleasurists #119

2011-03-01T11:06:00.003-06:00

Naked Fetish by FlipFlopBear
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #118? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #120? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form and submit it before Sunday March 6th @ 11:59pm Pacific.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Giveaway: Starlet Toyfriend Deadline: March 5th.
Blogoversary Giveaway – 4 Sexy Prize Packs Deadline: March 5th.
Giveaway Xtreme Pack G-Spot Bullet Deadline: March 5th.
Frisky Bzzz Buddies Vibrator Deadline: March 7th.
Valentines Day Giveaway Deadline: March 14th.
Giveaway: Green sex toys for everyone! Deadline: March 14th @ Midnight Pacific.
Enter to Win an Irish Green Fun Factory Yooo! Deadline: March 17th @ 11am Central.
Win a Gorgeous Glass Sex Toy from C.A.P. and Dr. Ruthie! Deadline: March 31st.

Editor
Scarlet Lotus

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Ultimate Guide to Fellatio by Lucid Obsession

Adult DVDs & Porn

Sex Furniture

Liberator Wedge/Ramp Combo by Evil Poptart

Miscellaneous

Four Seasons Regular and Ice by Lucid Obsession

Tantus Mark

2011-02-21T17:55:00.001-06:00

It's no secret that my favorite toys in the world are squishable, squeezable, lusciously pliable silicone dildos. So when Tantus announced their new realistic line, made in their new O2 Dual Density silicone variation, I knew I was going to need to get my greedy little hands on one of those dildos. Luckily, Babeland came to my aid again and sent along Mark, further feeding my lust for Tantus toys.

You will squeeze me. Obey the sticker.

Mark is pretty average in size, coming in at about 1.5" wide and 6" long. There's some veining on the shaft, and though it isn't very pronounced, I can feel it really well in use. In combination with the velvety drag on the length, I get a very realistic sensation that's wonderful to squeeze against. The surface does still have that characteristic Tantus silicone smoothness, especially on the head where there's no velvety-veining at all. The super shiny, super smooth head makes for incredibly easy insertion - once you've got your lube added, there's practically no resistance on that first inch (can anyone say smooth sailing for anal or for practicing your deep throating technique?). The base is bulked up, making it very easy to grip by hand and substantial enough for harness use, while still being pliable enough that it won't crush your pubic bone. There's no suction cup action going on, but it is firm enough and stable enough that this dildo can stand on it's own.

It's also still got that characteristic silicone lint-magnet quality.

As for the O2 Super Soft material itself - I love it. The core of the dildo feels rather hard and firm, but it's mediated by a good thick layer of squeezable O2 silicone around it. The entire first inch or so of the head is just soft material, but Tantus' O2 blend is firm enough on it's own that it isn't a problem. The soft:hard ratio makes it easy to insert without your dildo flopping all over the place, but since the head is just soft material, you don't have to worry so much about ramming hard silicone into your cervix or other sensitive bits. Super extra bonus points? I think so.
I only have one complaint about this toy, and it's minor... I kind of wish it the head was more pronounced. I really like that pop that larger, mushroom-looking coronas can give, and this sleek-lined toy just doesn't quite do it for me in that category.

Vixen Creations Raquel, Tantus Mark, Tantus Niagara

(HOW DID I END UP WITH SO MANY HOT PINK TOYS?)

All are about 1.5" inches wide, softest ---> firmest

Though they're still calling it O2 silicone, I don't think it feels the same as the old O2 silicone on my Tantus Niagara. In part, I think that's because the squishy layer is thicker than is used to be, but even the head where there's no core at all feels softer and more lifelike on Mark. It just has more of that velvet, rolling skin feeling that I've come to love in realistic toys. Also, though the Super Soft O2 is a good deal softer than the old O2, and MUCH softer than regular Tantus silicone, it doesn't quite reach the same category of super!squishy! that Vixen Creations VixSkin toys do. It's also a little less grabby and... well, there's not adjective I can think of for it, but O2 doesn't have that feeling of Vixen toys that's almost like hot skin (that's not to say that Mark doesn't pick up body heat - because it does - it just feels less like hot skin). However, that could be a good thing, as I've seen people complain VixSkin is almost too soft, and that it just feels sticky. It's all about preferences, eh?

Babeland offers up Mark in three different skin tones, as well as his sibling Adam if you want a little more length with a G-spot bend.

Babeland's Edible Body Chocolate

2011-02-15T11:35:00.001-06:00

I'm another one of those girls who only kinda-sorta-a-little-bit likes chocolate sometimes, but keeps trying chocolate flavored body paints and stuff for those times, because when I want chocolate OHGODIWANTCHOCOLATE! Most of those chocolate body products end up being... horrible. They taste kind of like paint thinner and are all but brown water, or they're sticky and impossible to use, or are just over priced relabeled Hershey's syrup. Babeland's Edible Body Chocolate isn't anything like those.

First of all, the ingredients list is simple - as well as vegan, fair trade, and organic - and is made up entirely of things I can identify and have used in baking recipes before. The product has an 18 month shelf life, which should be plenty long enough to get it used up (especially if you get the little 1 oz jar).

Ingredients: Sucrose (Organic Sugar), Theobroma cacao (Organic Cocoa),

Cocos nucifera (Organic Coconut) Oil, Vitis vinifera (Grape) Seed Oil,

Vanilla planifolia (Vanilla) Extract, Tocopherol (Vitamin E)

Keen eyes that you all have, I'm sure you spotted that the first ingredient is sugar - so, obviously that means this chocolate shouldn't go anywhere near your vagina unless you enjoy yeast infections. The jar is as simple as the ingredients - dark brown with pink lettering. It's easy enough to keep out of sight, and should blend in with your lip balms or cuticle creams if you do leave it on your nightstand. Especially if you're already known to enjoy chocolate lip products.

Second, it's really thick, especially when it's cold. It's entirely solid at room temperature (at least at my room temperature - 65*F or so), and has a gritty texture like there are little bits of cocoa nibs still hanging around in it. Which isn't entirely a bad thing, if you like those dark chocolate bars with extra cocoa... which I actually do tend to enjoy. When it's warmed up, it's a good deal more liquidy and easy to paint with - though it still has some grit - whether you choose to use your fingers or an actual paint brush. I just go for fingers, since in my mind it's more fun to have them licked clean than to worry about losing a chocolate covered paint brush under the covers.

You are really going to want to warm it up, even though it's semi-usable in its solid state. It's just a liiiiiittle too grainy, too hard to spread evenly... so if you're trying to draw a picture or write something, it won't be as clear as you might like. I generally set mine on top of a warm radiator to melt, though leaving it in a sink full of hot water for a while should work just as well. I'd be hesitant to use a microwave, just because it might liquefy the jar as well as the chocolate.

The most important factor, of course, is the taste. As Babeland says, it's definitely a dark chocolate flavor, that to me has an almost coconut-coffee undertone. In fact, it reminds me pretty strongly of Edy's French Silk ice cream and Mounds candy bars. For me that's a pretty big plus, and the main reason I like this chocolate so much - if you dislike coconut, I'd stay pretty far away from this, since it's not easy to ignore.

Pleasurists #107

2010-12-07T13:46:00.000-06:00

Something about you is so addictive
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists #106? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #108? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form and submit it before Sunday December 12th at 11:59pm PST.
Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

“Lovers and Beloveds” Erotic e-book Giveaway Deadline: December 8th @ Noon.
Body Friendly Weekend Giveaway: Day 1 Deadline: December 10th @ 11:59pm Eastern.
Babeland Giveaway: Edible Body Chocolate! Deadline: December 10th @ 11:59pm Central.
$50 Gift Card to EdenFantasys Deadline: December 10th.
Denma Lady Giveaway Deadline: December 10th.
Body Friendly Weekend Giveaway: Day 2 Deadline: December 11th @ 11:59pm Eastern.
Win a Blossom Organics Natural Lube! Deadline: December 11th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Body Friendly Weekend Giveaway: Day 3 Deadline: December 12th @ 11:59pm Eastern.
Jessie’s Deck Your Halls Birthday Contest Deadline: December 12th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Contest: Eden Fantasys Gift Card! Deadline: December 14th @ 9pm Eastern.
Win a set of Ethera Silk Cuffs Deadline: December 14th.
A Very Merry Chrismukkah Giveaway Deadline: December 15th @ Midnight Central.
Win A Groovy Chick Deadline: December 15th.
Jimmyjane Little Gold Deadline: December 17th.
Sextoys.com’s Tantus Wonderland Contest Deadline: December 19th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
P.S Paris Style Giveaway Deadline: December 20th.
Holiday Contest! Deadline: December 20th.
Win New Years Eve Baci Lingerie and Eyelashes from Avelli Inc. Deadline: December 20th.
Double Your Fun in 2011 – Win 52 Weeks of Romance AND Naughty Nights Deadlin: December 31st.
Better Than Mistletoe – Win an Ophoria Combo Pleasure Pack Deadline: December 31st.
Holiday Giveaway | Win The LELO Etherea Cuffs! Deadline: December 31st @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Ring in the New Year With Style Deadline: January 1st @ 10pm Central.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #21
Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dildos

Tantus Mark by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult DVDs & Porn

Lingerie

Miscellaneous

Nookii

2010-11-30T13:18:00.002-06:00

Nookii, "the grown up game for playful couples," is basically a game intended to get you to try spending more time on foreplay (and explore new actions, depending on what you do already) instead of hopping right into penetrative sex. It's a game that would be easy to use with any of your other sex toys, whether you'd like to try incorporating a vibrator, a massage oil, or edible body chocolate while playing. Inside the box are eight compartments, containing the cards, a sheer purple scarf, two 6-sided dice, a do-not-disturb sign, instructions, and a timer. The color scheme for everything is dark purple and pink, giving it a romantic-sexy look without straying too far into stereotypically girly.

The purple matches my bed sheets! Yay!

Nookii comes packaged in a sturdy cardboard box, one that will definitely last for long term storage - you don't have to worry about smashing it if you toss it under the bed or under a pile of books. Everything is plastic wrapped, so bring a safety pin or something to easily peel open the cards. The only thing disappointing right off the bat is the timer, as mine seems to be broken. Setting the knob to the big 2 lets it count down for 8 minutes (I'm not sure how that denomination was chosen... I would have expected it to be either 2 minutes or 10 minutes), but the bell to signal the end of the time only goes off about half the time. If you're not paying attention (or are busy paying close attention to your partner, I should say), you likely won't notice the time's up. Bring your own egg timer, or watch the clock. The dice are six-sided, but they aren't numbered in the standard way; each has one side marked one, two sides marked two, two sides marked three, and one side marked four. I believe this is mostly just to keep the game from running too long (you don't always want to roll 12 minutes for every action, hmm?).

As for the cards, they are about the same size as playing cards but feel a little bit thinner and more bendy even though they are laminated. There are ninety cards total, separated into forty five for each person, and divided again into three piles of fifteen. The three piles are titled Mmm, Ooh, and Aah and each pile contains progressively more intense actions. Of course, the cards are separated into the woman's pile (with a purple silk motif on back) and the man's pile (which are just plain dark purple), so if you've got any other combination of body parts going on or have a bigger group, you'll have to ignore the specific directives and improvise a bit. I don't think it would be too hard to make it work in either of those cases, though the cards are mostly "do X to your partner," so you'd have to either work pairings into the group, or maybe assign numbers and roll the dice to choose who gets what.

Subtlety? Who needs subtlety when you're staying at a hotel!

The directions are really simple: Each player shuffles their three separate decks of cards, and the draws the top card from each pile (one Mmm, one Ooh, one Aah, played in that order). Roll the dice, and whoever gets the higher number gets to go first. That person then rolls again to determine the length of time they get for their Mmm card (i.e. you roll a 6, you get 6 minutes of whatever action). You then read the card: sections written in italics are to yourself, sections in regular print with a big " next to them you read aloud to your partner. You then set your timer and try to complete all the actions within your time limit. Once the bell rings, you stop, and your partner roll the dice for their Mmm card. You continue in the same manner for the Oohs and Aahs.

None of the actions on the cards are really "out there" in terms of kinkiness nor do they cause "I never would have thought of that!" type epiphanies. The only thing that struck me as strange was the (repeated) suggestion to try pulling your partners pubic hair. I don't know about anyone else, but in my mind that's a one way ticket to a slap in the face (and not in the good way, either!), though of course that response will vary. Other than that, most of the cards are focused on some sort of massage, kissing/biting/licking your partner on a specific body part, or an action focused around the scarf (tying hands/legs in position, blindfolding, oral ministrations through the scarf).

Though the actions aren't out there, some of the wording is really... strange. Borderline cheesy, on some of the cards (mostly their suggestions for phrases during roleplay...). You want examples? You get examples!

Wearing just your panties wrap the scarf

around your body as if it were a towel.

" Knock on my door and say "Pizza."

"You're early and this is not the pizza I ordered. If you want your tip

you'll have to do as I say to make it up to me."

Kneel down with your bottom in the air and let the scarf fall open.

" Get down on your knees and knead my buttocks as if they are pizza dough.

Play with my breasts and enjoy my mouth, kissing me deeply.

"OOOOOOHHHH you can deliver my pizza any time!"

Nookie card 29, female Ooh pile

I don't know about all of you, but that card has me laughing too hard to really manage to do anything. There are a few like that, but I can't say I really mind - I'd guess they're meant to help people learn it's okay to laugh a be a little silly during sex instead of thinking it needs to be so somber and structured. ...another example, you say? Certainly!

" "Welcome to my medical practice, what is your problem?"

Pass the card.

" "Well doctor, I'm constantly horny."

Pass the card.

" "Let me examine you, strip to your underwear and lie down."

Place your ear over different parts of her body as though you were

listening for something. Massage her breasts and

take a peek at her through the top of her panties.

" "May I suggest a natural medicine?"

Fondle her over her underwear.

Nookie card 73, male Ooh pile

Out of all ninety cards, there are six or so that are silly like that. The others are really just simple directions of where and how to pleasure your partner. Some are rather wordy, running 2-3 solid paragraphs and covering the entire card, and others are just a sentence or two. The variance in length and specificity are nice, and keep the game from being the exact same thing every time (most games did end up running about 30 minutes in length).

In all, Nookii is a nice game. If you feel like you're stuck in a bit of a rut, or that you don't spend enough time playing together before your sex play is finished, I wouldn't hesitate to pick it up. Just don't expect it to teach you crazy new moves, or get your partner to confess a secret desire (though I'm sure there's a game out there that would!).

Thanks, My Pleasure!

Pleasurists #100

2010-10-19T12:56:00.001-05:00

001903 by aqua1000
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #99? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #101? Be sure to read the submission guidelines and then use the submission form and submit it before Sunday October 24th at 11:59pm PDT. Be sure to enter our 100th Edition Celebration Giveaway!

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Win a copy of Tantric Sex for Busy Couples by Diana Daffner Deadline: October 18th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Join in True’s 24th B-Day Blowout for the Chance to Some Sexy Party Favors! Deadline: October 18th @ 11am Central.
Win the Death by Orgasm Scorpion vibe! Deadline: October 19th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Win a Whipspider toy from She Vibe! Deadline: October 20th @ Noon Eastern.
Death By Orgasm Giveaway Deadline: October 22nd.
Evolved Dream Maker Contest Deadline: October 23rd @ Midnight Eastern.
A Scary Halloween Toy Contest Deadline: October 23rd @ Midnight Eastern.
Win a Set of Nipple Charmers Deadline: October 25th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Win a Copy of The Hot Guide to Safer Sex Deadline: October 25th @ 11:59pm Pacific.

Halloween Birthday Bash Giveaway Deadline: October 27th.
M’s Halloweeny Birthday Bash Giveaway Deadline: October 29th @ 11:59pm Eastern.
EdenFantasys Gift Card Giveaway Deadline: October 29th @ Midnight Eastern.
Holy 4th Blogiversary Contest Deadline: October 31st @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Win Flower and Rocket Balm Deadline: October 31st.
Win the NEW Ophoria A-Plug Deadline: October 31st.
Pleasurists 100th Edition Celebration Giveaway! Deadline: November 17th @ 11:59pm Pacific.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?
e[lust] #20

Editor
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

LELO Ina by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
LELO Ina by Outspoken Clitic
Harmonia by buzzvibe
Pirates Pendant by Jessie Beth
Pirate Rocket by Red Vinyl Kitty
Natural Contours BonBon by Sea of Neptune
Wahl by Jessie Beth
LELO Gigi by Greta Switch
Chippendales Diva by Mistress Kay
Fun Factory Spring by Kaijah
Fun Factory Spring by buzzvibe
Jimmyjane Form 3 by Joan Price
Death By Orgasm Scorpion by True Pleasures
Jimmyjane Form 2 by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
Sassy Swirl Squiggle by Sammi
Kegel 8 by Joanna Cake
Blue Venus by Sammi
Toyfriend Seti by Dr. Ruthie

Dildos

Anal Toys

Tantus Ryder by Beauty

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult DVDs & Porn

Storage

ToiTissue by Mistress Kay

Miscellaneous

Fun Factory Spring Vibe

2010-10-14T15:55:00.002-05:00

Long, long ago (read: a little over a year ago), some of the first high quality toys I got my hands on were from Fun Factory. The Galan, and the LayaSpot, to be specific - and right off the bat, I loved them. They're sturdy, powerful, made of safe materials (and considering what else is out there, the material aspect is still something I really appreciate), and I really must've lucked out, because the vibrations FF toys produce seem to be *just* the right frequency for my clit. Sadly, it wasn't all a storybook romance... though I loved them both quite a bit, neither was exactly what I wanted. I craved a compact, but non-pinpoint clit stimulator like Laya, while needing Galan's squishiness without all the unwieldy length and bendiness.

That, my friends, is where the Spring Vibe comes into play. It's kind of like the other two vibes had a freaky alien baby (whose appearance leaves many, many questions about the real parentage), that came out with a bunch of neat extra features and a bit more strength than either of the parents. Speaking of appearances, it's time to throw it out there - the pink color this toy comes in is truly, astoundingly pink. It's not a soft pink, or a bubblegum pink, it's a kick you in the face, "I make neon lights look reserved," day-glow pink. With flowers on top (literally). Needless to say, if girly appearances are a deal breaker for you, you'll have to check out one of the other three types of Click'n'Charge vibes currently available.

I can ignore the color pretty easily, though, simply because the Spring has so many other things going for it. The biggest thing for me are the vibrations - they are deep, rumbly, and just right in my mind. As I mentioned before, it is stronger than its two AAA or two AA powered predecessors, but it doesn't quite reach the pelvis shaking power of the Ellove (which takes four AAA batteries). It has 7 or 8 levels of vibrations, depending on how you count. The first level is really so weak, I can barely justify counting it as a vibe level - it's basically just "on." The seven after it, however, get progressively more substantial and I generally don't move past the second or third level. After the steady vibrations, there are three patterns you can access by holding the + on the highest level: a slow kind of wave, a mix between a wave and a pulse, and a short, sharp pulsing.

Though I love it for a clitoral vibe, internally the Spring is just okay. It's about the same size as the Acute, which I also love, but it doesn't have the same G-spot curve to it. The vibrations travel very well, but a straight shafted vibe alone isn't enough for me internally. I want my G directly attended too, and I want it to be very, very noticeable.

This is where I could make a spring or flower joke. But I won't.

Also, this is the color you should picture, not the softer one above.

The size might seem a bit awkward, since it straddles that line between clit-only and full-on insertable (about 5.5" long/4" insertable, 1.25" around), but I've found I like have a little extra reach with my clit toys. I'm lazy, and I don't really feel like stretching my arms to their fullest to get my toy where I want it - the little bit of extra length lets me stay at ease instead of having to reach. Though the end cap is hard plastic, the vibrators body is covered in a thick, cushy layer of Fun Factory's signature matte silicone; it is plush, deliciously squeezable, and has quite a bit of drag. The flowers on the surface add a bit more texture and sensation, but I generally choose to use the smooth side (remember, I'm a wuss who complains that most textures are too stimulating), but they are a nice option for everyone to have.

Speaking of squeezing, there is one odd quirk I noticed on my vibe. When I squeeze the center (a bit above the point where it dips in and is narrowest), it clicks. It sounds kind of like the noise the buttons make when pressed, but I'm not sure why the center makes that sound. It just does. I don't think this click is really a problem - I've never been able to produce it when I'm using the toy in a normal manner, just when I'm specifically poking around with my fingers.

I love how simple this charger is. No giant case, no stupid wobbly base.

The most innovative feature of all, and the whole idea behind the Click'n'Charge name, is of course the charger. Instead of something that plugs into the base of the toy like a cell phone charger, you have a completely seamless (and therefore !TRULY WATERPROOF!) base with a magnet in it. The charger has your standard outlet plug, attached to a cord with a quarter sized disk with magnetic metal nubs that you simply snap onto your toy. It is a little touchy, though. You're going to want to have it on a totally level (and clean, since it has no storage system) surface that won't get bumped much. I found if it was level, the charger stayed attached fine, but if it the toy was tilted it would unlatch rather easily. There's also an indicator light on the charger, which is nice so you know when it's ready to go.

In all, the Spring Vibe is a winner in my bedroom. I don't really find myself wishing it had any other features, or wishing that anything it does have would disappear (well, I might enjoy a more muted color, but that's really not a biggie for me).

All thanks go to Babeland for providing me with this Fun Factory wonder~!

RO-80mm Bullet

2010-09-29T17:35:00.001-05:00

The RO toys were some of the first bullets I've seen lumped into the "high intensity" category that seemed like they would have the extra boost of power as advertised. There are so many disappointing toys that fail in a glorious bout of flame trying to live up to that promise - and I was worried the 80mm would follow in those footsteps. Though I was skeptic, bare minimum I figured I'd finally have a bullet that didn't use stupid watch batteries that die in four seconds. I can't say that I know much about the magical world of battery innovations, but I didn't think it was possible these weird N batteries could last a shorter period than the little silver disks.

I've had this bullet for... say a year now? Give or take, and I'm still using the same N battery, without any signs of it slowing down. (I do rotate vibes a lot, though. So if it was your only toy... it likely wouldn't last so long.) They're also not too hard to find - just look in the camera department of an electronics store.

Now for the best part... that little battery DOES pack a good wallop. Is it going to take the place of something that plugs into the wall? No. Of course not. However, it is a MASSIVE leap above the watch battery bullets, and competes pretty well with larger vibes I have that take AAA batteries. The vibrations themselves are rather surface-buzzy, though, so that's definitely something to keep in mind if you prefer 'em rumbling. If anyone's been keeping track, you'll probably remember that I'm one of those rumbly loving gals myself... but the 80mm works for me just based on the sheer pin point power I can get from the tip (though the vibes do travel along the whole entire body since the toy is so small). On days when my clit is super duper sensitive, it can really be too much.

The only minor negative I can really give it is that it is kind of a loud toy. There's no padding inside it at all, so the battery is bouncing around against plastic the whole time - it's pretty easy to cover with a closed door and some music, though. Toy operation couldn't be simpler - one touch on, one touch off. No patterns, no power levels... it's really a basic bullet. I for one have never gotten off on pulsations, but if you need them you won't get them here.

As for the structure of the bullet itself, I'll call it average. It's just a plastic bullet shaped body (there's a bit of a seam on the tip of mine, and the name is printed on the side, but it's otherwise completely smooth), with a twist-on plastic cap. It's not super thick plastic, but it's not super thin either. There's a little rubber o-ring, but it isn't a perfect seal so it's definitely not water proof - showering with it won't be a problem, and cleaning isn't a big deal as long as you don't fully submerse it. In all, I'd call this my quickie vibe. When I'm too lazy to drag out something corded, or that requires concentration to get the controls just-so, it's nice to have a one click bullet that gets the job done.

Chocolate Party Hats

2010-08-25T12:34:00.001-05:00

Many, many moons ago, I won a contest thrown by the ever-lovely ThatToyChick for a Chocolate Party Hat. I've never really bought into the idea of edible clothing, paint, or any of the millions of other products on the market simply because they seemed like they'd be messy or just... bland. Like those lubes that are supposed to taste like strawberry but really taste like lube and chemicals. This hat, however, I couldn't resist for one reason - it's a VIKING hat. For my favorite penis. I get to have a Viking. Warrior. Peen. And that, my friends, was something too hilariously awesome for me to resist.

It arrived in a simple black box, well packed with a little nutrition card. It was fairly warm out at the time (thinking around 80), but there were no melting issues - though I'd hesitate to order in the dead of summer. It's definitely not a dinky hat, either - it'll fit a two inch thick cock without a problem. Since I couldn't get the real boy to pose for a pic, I'll just have the mighty Buck stand in as a model.

See? It fits, with a bit of wiggle room. The choco hat makers were kind enough to provide a measuring tool on their FAQ page if you have a third leg, as they say, and are worried though.

The chocolate itself is called "the Lamborghini of chocolates - Callebaut." To be honest, I have no idea what kind of chocolate that name implies. I know it's dark chocolate - but you see, I'm one of those heathens who sees chocolate as a take-it-or-leave-it kind of deal. I don't generally swoon over a rare chocolate bar or crave the stuff on a day to day basis. I like it, but I'm a far cry from a gourmet.

That being said, this stuff is delicious, it leaves Hershey's and all those other drugstore candy bars in the dust. It's more like the chocolate you find in fancy-pants stores for 13 dollars a bar. The flavor and scent are both strong and heady, sweet and a little bitter. Melty with all the bodyheat you'll be dealing with, but no too melty so that it turns to goo before you get to play a while. They've managed to strike the perfect balance for this delectable little treat.

In short - I was expecting another silly gag sex product, and ended up getting an edible confection. If I ever get a hankering for chocolate, you can bet this is going to be my first choice.

Where, oh where, has my little blog gone?

2010-08-13T19:24:00.000-05:00

Gratuitous pussy picture. Oh yeah!

As everyone (or the five of you out there) may have noticed, I've been rather M.I.A. for the past... two months. Give or take. And I really don't have any excuse. I haven't taken any amazing trips, gone through any life changes, or anything really. I've just been kind of lazing about, doing whatever. Working, then sitting around reading, surfing the net (oh, the many many comics I have seen), or playing video games in my spare time, with lots of wanking on the side. Watching old movies and lazing the day away with the dogs when I have nothing to do. It sounds boring... but I can't really say that I'm wishing for anything more exciting. I guess I'm happy with just being relatively stable in life at the moment.

On the ~sexay~! front, I really have nothing to report. I have lots of toys and lube I could review, but nothing that requires it at the moment. I've gotten complacent about actively seeking out new toys and things in the past few months as well... it's not like I've gotten bored with toys (not by a looooong shot), but right now it seems like I have a toy that fills every niche I need filled. I have dildos and vibrators galore that do fantastic, wonderful things for me (and others that... don't) and nothing new!exciting!amazing! has really popped up that I feel the need to chase down.

As for my dear boy... hell, I don't know what to think. We live in separate places, and no longer work together, so we haven't been seeing each other much or even texting the absurd amount we used to. The few offers I've thrown out for visits haven't worked out due to issues with work schedules or other, older plans and the like. Maybe because we're on different work/sleep shifts. Maybe I'm not verbal enough about the issue. Maybe we're both just too lazy. I don't know.

I am starting to feel a bit more like reviewing again, so hopefully I'll be more active again in the coming weeks. I thought about filling those empty weeks with more pronz-y posts, but that just seemed too much like filler for me - like I'd be making the blog into a tumblr for no real reason. Lame excuses abound today, I know. Anyway, on the reviewing front, I'm thinking of finally doing a big Sliquid lube comparison post and maybe one for some Jimmyjane stuff. Or I could finish my old, half done review of the Vixen Raquel, though I feel like everything I can say about Vixen's amazingness (getting technical, here) was covered in my other V.C. product posts. Or I'm just lazy and don't feel like trying to describe dildo sensations.

(And yes, I do love me some parenthesis.)

Hands

2010-07-01T20:41:00.001-05:00

I have a really weird thing for hands. The first thing that pops into my head when I'm naming features I like on someone is almost always something involving their hands. I'm not really sure why that is. Of course, there's the obvious - finger banging is pretty damn awesome. I'm perfectly happy to watch a guy with nice hands play the piano, though, or really do anything innocuous that involves a lot of movement and dexterity.

via Taste the Sea

And the positioning of the guys hands in this picture? Just delicious.

Pleasurists #82

2010-06-16T17:19:00.000-05:00

via Viviennui
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #81? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #83? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday June 20th at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Who’s Your Daddy Fathers Day Giveaway! Deadline: June 19th.
Giveaway: Woodgasm Deadline: June 20th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Fuck Sleep Pillowcase Giveaway Deadline: June 26th.
Win Ophoria K-Balls Deadline: June 30th.
Win An Amazing Hot Heart Massager Deadline: June 30th.
June’s Sexy Contest: Explore Your Fantasies with KinkAcademy & Dr. Ruthie Deadline: June 30th.
Celebrate True’s 3 Years of Wedded Bliss and Get WET! Deadline: June 30th @ 11am Central.
Win a $50 Gift Card to Eden Fantasys! Deadline: July 8th @ 11:59pm Central.

Editor’s Pick

Pirates Pendant Vibe by OnIntimacy

I was skeptical. I like my bullet vibes, but rarely happen upon an occasion in which it would be helpful to have one disguised as jewelry. I had a lipstick vibe once in college. I left it in my boyfriend’s dorm and one of his unsuspecting housemates wanted to see what color lipstick I wore. Long story short, we had trouble making eye contact with each other for a while.

Note: I read enough (read: so many) reviews every week to know it’s the little things that really make a review, add that little something extra and it will make your review stand out, and that’s how this one is. What really tipped me over the edge was the corny joke embedded in the image captions and a link to the Top 10 Pirate Pick-up Lines. You know you want to go look.

Editor
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?
e[lust] #15

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dahlia Breeze by Lila
Evolved Roulette by Payton
Sqweel by Beautiful Dreamer
California Exotics Lia by Sammi
Bswish Bcurious by Mistress Kay
We Vibe by la petite devergondee
Hi-Tech Bullet Collection by Sammi
Eroscillator Top Deluxe by Splendwhore
LELO Liv by Kaijah
Pirates Pendant by OnIntimacy
Pirates Pendant by Marilyn
Forbidden Fancies Pirate Rocket by Mistress Kay
California Exotics Petite Couture Amorous by Laurel
LELO Mona by Toy With Me
LELO Mona by Joan Price
California Exotics Calla Lily by Rayne
Silent Vibrations by Sammi
LELO Gigi by Juliettia
Oasis Slimline Set by The Countess
Pretty Pearl G-Spot by Mistress Kay
Rabbit Frenzy by Kynky Kytty
G-Ki by Dr. Ruthie
Natural Contours Petite Pink Ribbon by Bailey

Dildos

Tantus Silk by Sea of Neptune
Tantus Silk by Garvenvy
Ophoria Pleasure No. 6 by Elodie
Whirly by Sarahbear
Twista 2 by Toys in Love
Little Su by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
Vixen Creations Tex by Hamilton Hexx
Don Wands Curved Purple Swirl by Screaming Violet
Tantus G-Force by Darling Dove
Fun Factory Bandito by Missy

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Ophoria V-Ring #7 by Red Vinyl Kitty
Fleshlight Vibro Pink Lady by Toys in Love
RingO by Cooper
Tenga Lip Service by Dr. Ruthie
Pirate Booty Stroker by Missy

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult DVDs & Porn

Storage

The Original ToiBocks by Rayne

Miscellaneous

LELO Liv

2010-06-10T16:35:00.000-05:00

I'm not really sure how to go about writing this review. Appearance wise, the Liv is gorgeous. It comes with lots of neat packaging and storage. It's rechargeable. It's LELO - it just screams "high end quality." In action, though, it's very... meh. The vibrations are okay. The girth is okay. The length is okay. The curve is okay. There's just nothing astounding.

Sitting on the included satin storage baggie.

In total, Liv is about seven inches tip to tip (four of which are insertable), about an inch wide, and about one and a quarter inches tall. It's kind of a dainty piece of work in this regard - the handle is larger than the insertable bit. On that handle is the control dial, a little circle with up and down marked with arrows, and the increase and decrease marked with + and - respectively. The controls are really intuitive, and fairly easy to press without switching all over the place in use. Pressing and holding the plus for about 2 seconds turns the toy on, and either giving a quick press of the plus or holding it down will take you up through 8 levels of constant vibration. Pressing the down arrow while the toy is on will let you scroll though the four vibration patterns (on ANY of the vibration levels, rather than just on the highest, which is a nice touch). Pressing the up arrow gets you back to constant vibration, and holding down the minus will shut the toy off. Holding the center of the dial for about 5 seconds with lock, and unlock, the toy so it's ready for travel.

Liv charges in about 2 hours, and will last you somewhere between 2 and 4 depending on the setting you're using (and will last about ninety days if you just leave Liv sitting in the bottom of the toybox unused). The indicator light around the control dial will start blinking red when Liv is going to die - and then all you have to do is plug it into the wall to charge. There's a small silicone plug on the base of the handle, which you pop out to get to the DC port - one quick snap and you're ready to charge (this port does mean Liv is NOT waterproof - getting water in there will wreak mechanical havoc). The dial blinks white while charging, and then stays solid white to let you know it's fully charged.

The DC plug is permanently attached - so no worry of losing it! Yay!

The vibrations themselves are pretty strong, especially on the highest setting. They're not particularly deep and thrummy, nor are they particularly high and buzzy - they're just somewhere in the middle. They're very focused in the tip, but travel pretty well throughout the lower body of the toy so you get some buzz going everywhere. They're kind of quiet. Kind of. You aren't going to hear the toy through a closed door, but it's not really a quiet experience for the user.

Immediately after turning the toy on, I realized I was going to have at least one issue: the whining motor. I had heard other people mention it before as a staple of the LELO toys, but I didn't realize how evident it was really going to be for me. It's a high pitched, squealy sound, and it's not at all pleasant. It's most audible on the first four settings, while the last four are less squealy and more just the regular vibrator hum, with a smidge of a high pitch. This generally means I can only use this toy with lots of background noise and music, or I'll go nuts and chuck it at the wall (maybe not something THAT drastic, but it can be grating). If you aren't particularly annoyed by noisy toys, this little feature probably won't drive you quite so insane.

When I use Liv, it's almost always as a clitoral stimulator. It excels in this area for me for a few reasons, the most obvious being that the vibration strength is really focused in the tip. The hard shaft is awesome for applying direct pressure, and the texture of the silicone coating add just that extra bit of oomph, a delicious little bit of friction, that really sends it over the top. I also just like the overall length of the toy, since I prefer to have the longer reach and leverage I get with Liv to something smaller like a basic watch battery bullet. So as a clitoral toy? Liv is pretty awesome, but so are a lot of other toys that come at a much lower price point (or if they are expensive, at least offer a more unique feeling - e.g. the Eroscillator).

Internally, Liv just doesn't do it for me. I can still feel a bit of the velvety texture from the silicone coating, but I tend to produce quite a bit of lube and that minor texturing fades out rather quickly. Mostly it just feels like any old plastic toy. A plastic toy with a curve, sure, but it's nothing to write home about. It doesn't do a lot for my G spot, it's not particularly filling, it's not a unique sensation, and the vibrations just aren't thrummy enough for me to really enjoy them internally. It's a bust for me.

I'm probably the odd one out on this toy. All the bits and pieces make it seem like it should have been stellar, but it just doesn't all add up to me screaming LIIIIIIIIV from the mountain tops.

RubyGlass21, anyone?

2010-06-08T15:42:00.004-05:00

It's always interesting to see behind the scenes for how all our favorite toys are made and treated... from those factory tour videos to the in-store demos, I like seeing how things work all along the line. So, you can imagine my joy (read: nerdy excitement) when I saw MJ tweeting about live streaming video on Ustream of their dildo making process! You can see everything, from start to finish, and chat with workers (and other dildo enthusiasts) while you watch.

On one of the last days I was watching, MJ was making their Tequila Sunrise model, and I took a few screen caps, from the very start...

...to somewhere midway...

...to "almost done!"...

...to finished and cooling on the stand.

In all, it's a really neat process to watch; the length of time from start to finish varies based on the complexity of the toy, but most of the ones I've watched have been somewhere between 30 minutes and an hour. And there's been talk in the chat of more to come, aside from working out the last kinks in video streaming: potentially multiple camera angles, a bit of audio, setting up a service to know when to watch *the exact toy you picked out!* being made... it's an exciting prospect to have such a wonderfully committed bunch in the world of glass. And there's definitely a lot of love from them!

How's that for commitment to your pleasure? :)

If you never heard of RubyGlass21, you can check out their "About Us" page for a bit of background info...

"RubyGlass21 is an up and coming manufacturer of hand blown glass erotica located in Eugene Oregon. Our passion for glass began over 15 years ago. Our initial love for glass started as an apprenticeship and bloomed into an obsession for perfection. RubyGlass21 is a locally based company and our glass is blown in house with every piece of erotic glass art approved by the owners and held to our strict guidelines. RubyGlass21 guarantees the proper techniques are used in the manufacturing of our glass toys and is above comparison. Our products are made with medical grade borosilicate glass, known as "hard glass" because nothing else will do."

...as well as read about all the company is doing to be as clean and environmentally friendly as possible. Go check these guys out, ask some questions, and most of all enjoy the art show!

Pleasurists #80

2010-06-01T22:39:00.000-05:00

via High Gloss Dolls
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #79? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #81? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday June 6th at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

TabuToys.com Erotic Story Contest Deadline: June 1st.
Vamp Giveaway Deadline: June 1st.
Fluid: Women Redefining Sexuality DVD Giveaway Deadline: June 6th.
How Do You Define Your Sexuality? Contest! Deadline: June 6th @ 11:59pm Central.
Contest: Blue Swirl Real Tip Glass Dildo Deadline: June 10th @ 11:59pm Eastern.
Summer Splash Giveaway! Deadline: June 12th @ 11:59pm Eastern.
Win Ophoria K-Balls Deadline: June 30th.
Win An Amazing Hot Heart Massager Deadline: June 30th.
June’s Sexy Contest: Explore Your Fantasies with KinkAcademy & Dr. Ruthie Deadline: June 30th.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?
e[lust] #14

Editor
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies & Porn

Storage

BMS Lockable Small Vibrator Case by Juliettia

Lingerie

Women’s Panty Rose by Mistress Kay

Miscellaneous

Vixen Creations Leo

2010-05-27T22:19:00.001-05:00

I'm an adamant fan of all things Vixen Creations. All their designs interest me on some level, and even their "regular" silicone is delightfully supple and slightly squishy. And the colors, oh the colors. Purple, blue, silver... they feed my love of bright colored toys that look, well, fun. There are certainly more realistic dildos available that are just as fantastic, but Leo blends that realism with the bright aspect to create something just as useful as it is pretty.

But the Vixen Leo leaves me slightly torn. It's gorgeous. The 1.5" girth is wonderful, filling but not enough to literally leave me feeling like something's been torn. It's a solid 7 inches, so there's plenty of length to work with no matter how I feel like using it. And the swirly, opalescent purple color makes me undeniably happy. It's that defined head, wonderful but frustrating, that's left me somewhat surprised.

DRAMATIC SHADOW. And just look at those gorgeous purple swirls.

The head didn't look particularly intimidating to me in the photo, and certainly nothing like the fantastically large head on Buck. But I think that the firmer silicone, combined with the extra bit of ribbing from the molded foreskin makes Leo's head pack a bit more punch than I'd expected it to. This isn't to say it's tortuous - just that I'm a documented wuss when it comes to anything even approaching texture. There's a silver lining here, though - since the texture is just on that first inch, I can easily keep it away from the first two or so inches of my vagina where I have the most sensitivity issues. And deeper in? Oh, it's definitely still noticeable. But it's also noticeably easier on my tender tissues, and much more pleasurable. I do have to be a bit careful, though, to stay in the right range... so it's just something to keep in mind if you're at all similar to me in that regard.

The rest of the shaft is pretty smooth, which is very nice for me, but as always there are some very nice small touches added in by Vixen's sculptors. There are two raised veins on the anterior and posterior sides of this cock, but they're very gentle, more like slopes blending with the overall shape than jutting ridges. Of course, as I mentioned there's the very defined head (right down to the urethral opening in fact) that also keeps Leo looking and feeling rather realistic. The silicone itself is very silky, and fairly plush. Less plush than their VixSkin stuff of course, but more plush than the silicone of the (non 02) Tantus toys and Fun Factory models I've tried. I get a lot of pleasure from squeezing it, which seems to be a reoccurring theme for me with all my dildos. If you like toys that have some plushness to them, but are definitely still firm and easy to use, this could be perfect for you.

Suctioned to a mirror for funsies. Also, a better look at the ridged head.

Another neat feature is that large flared base. Not only does it make it safe for any type of orifice play you can come up with, but it also works as a fairly strong suction cup. It sticks to floors, walls, mirrors, and windows with equal gusto. Pretty much any smooth surfaced material I could find was fair game, though it did tend to drop off wooden panels quicker than those super smooth tile/glass surfaces. And if you get a little too vigorous with your thrusting - i.e. moving a bit too much left/right and rather than just up/down - the suction cup tended to give out sooner. It's not perfect, but it's a good step up if you like masturbating in a cowgirl-ish position.

As always, Vixen's stuff comes in a nice plastic tube you can use for storage or toss in recycling. Plus their ever awesome lifetime warranty against any plausible defects - not including and obvious user mess up like melting it in a pot while trying to clean it - that can't be beaten. Of course, the usual sanitizing options apply for this lovely chunk of silicone: soap and water, 10% bleach, boiling, dish-washing, toy cleaners/wipes. Only use water based lube unless you're willing to risk permanently ruining your new silicone friend.

Thanks so much, Vibrator.com! Now quick, everyone go drool over their entire range of Vixen Creations toys.

Vixen Creations Orbit

2010-05-21T21:32:00.000-05:00

I can't remember where I first saw this toy. Probably an ancient review floating around on someone's blog... in any case, by the time I found out about Vixen's Orbit, it had already been discontinued (along with the Softserve. All the bright super-unrealistics seem to be going down in a bad way). But, as luck would have it, with the power of a Google search and the willingness to take a chance on a random, tiny little online boutique, the Orbit was mine. And I'm so glad I searched it out. Not only because I really do love the particular style of G spot stim Orbit provides, but because it's teal. I'm a visual creature, inexplicably attracted to prettily colored dildos. What can I say?

The Orbit is really kind of an odd dildo in any case. It's a G spotter, but a very soft one with its VixSkin coating, though it seems to have more "core" than "skin" along the shaft when compared to any of the other dildos in the VixSkin line. The head is still entirely a squishy bulb of teal deliciousness, and the whole toy bends fairly easily while springing back into shape in an instant. I think that squishable, shapeable nature that works so well for me is one of the main reasons poor Orbit got booted.

Any toy with a super curved, blunt head that I've tried before has failed miserably for me. Whether too big, too stiff, too whatever, they've always made me feel like I'm about to break my pubic bone in half. The Orbit doesn't give me that problem - inserting is a breeze, because I can angle the head and it has that extra give that lets me get it where I want it without a fight. Then that "springs back into form" factor comes into play, and I get that delicious, constant direct G spot pressure that I love so much. It's kind of a unique feeling. There are certainly toys that pin point the G more immediately and leave no room for fooling around (Pure Wand, anyone?) and others that get it with sheer size and definition, but the Orbit feels different than either. It's kind of pin point (it's not really a fully stretched feeling, you really only feel that tip moving) but it's a very soft pin point from the luscious VixSkin. It's constant, insistent and I think that's why it works so well for me.

The Orbit isn't exactly great for fast thrusting, though, either. The base is large and has that nice notch that makes it easy to keep track of where you're at, but the connecting point to the shaft is rather narrow. There's quite a bit of flex to it, so any short sharp movements are kind of thwarted. Slower, even strokes are the name of the game here. That's something else to keep in mind; do you need sharp thrusts for G spot orgasms, or can you get off with just the constant pressure and gentle thrusting?

And as always, the Orbit comes packaged in a neat little storage tube with the awesome lifetime warranty and all the other standard info. Standard silicone warnings apply: no silicone lube, water based is your friend. Sanitize it with soap and water, bleach, boiling, toy cleaners, really whatever method you favor.

Pleasurists #77

2010-05-11T22:44:00.002-05:00

More Robin by carvenaked
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.

Did you miss Pleasurists #76? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #78? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday May 16th at 11:59pm PDT.

Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Win Your Very Own We-Vibe! Deadline: May 13th.
Squeeze Some VixSkin! Deadline: May 13th @ 11:59pm Pacific.
Giveaway: $25 Gift Card from EdenFantasys Deadline: May 16th @ 8pm Eastern.
Aqua Rabbit Giveaway Deadline: May 16th @ 11pm Eastern.
Summer is Cumming Giftcard Giveaway Deadline: May 22nd.
$300 Shopping Spree Deadline: May 31st.
Win a Bliss 3 Mini Vibe Deadline: May 31st @ 11:59pm Eastern.
Win a Bride-to-Be Collection Deadline: May 31st @ 11:59pm Eastern.
Win A Premium Toy Set AND A Free Session With Dr. Ruthie Deadline: May 31st.
Enter to Win an Incoqnito Lambskin Collar! Deadline: May 31st @ 11am Central.
TabuToys.com Erotic Story Contest Deadline: June 1st.
Vamp Giveaway Deadline: June 1st.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?
e[lust] #13

Editor
Scarlet Lotus St. Syr

On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Ophoria Beyond 1 by Essin’ Em
Ophoria Beyond 1 by Sommer Marsden
LELO Mia by Mistress Kay
I Rub My Duckie Pirate and Video Review by Sammi
Onye Fleur by Mistress Kay
G-Ki by True Pleasures
G-Swirl by namelesschaos
Close2you Harmonia by Tonia
Fun Factory Ellove by Kaijah
Fun Factory Ellove by Marilyn
Dinky Digger II by Mistress Kay
Couture Collection Inspire by namelesschaos
Fairy Wand by Britni TheVadgeWig
The Cone by Saraid
Babelight by Sammi
Babelight by Sea of Neptune
Babelight by Nanny
Babelight by Pretty Power Tools
LELO Mona by Carrie Ann
Nubby G by Alan & Michele
Rock Chick by Garnet Joyce
Rock Chick by Carrie Ann
Perfect Pet by Jessie Beth
Perfect Pet by Red Vinyl Kitty
Vida Vanta by Carrie Ann
Mystic Wand by Dr. Ruthie
Tulip Wand by Sammi
Vibrator Upgrade Kit by Pretty Power Tools
OhMiBod Club Vibe by Jonsbabydoll
OhMiBod Club Vibe by Jess Manifesto
We-Vibe II by Toy With Me
Radio Love by Joanna Cake
Fun Factory Paul & Paulina by Pretty Power Tools

Dildos

Tantus Vamp by Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
Vixen Maverick by Epiphora
Njoy Eleven by Sammi
Nobessence Intrigue by Carrie Ann
Hardwood Dildos #507 by Toys in Love
Vixen Creations Mistress by Wilhelmina Wang
Athena by Tuesday
Feeldoe by Carrie Ann
Sedeux Glam by JonsBabydoll
Wall Banger by Mystress Lady Evyl
Rose Gspotter by Jonsbabydoll
Tantus Compact by Missy
Rascal Toys Brandon Lee by Pretty Power Tools

Anal Toys

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies & Porn

Storage

Lingerie

Miscellaneous

Fun Factory Ellove

2010-05-05T13:18:00.000-05:00

I think this is the first insertable vibrator I've ever actually loved. There have been some I've liked. Some that were just okay, and of course others that were borderline useless. Fun Factory's Ellove is in a class of its own, at least for me.

Lets start with the basics - it's around 8.5 inches long in total, 6 of those being insertable. This is a curvy beast, so the circumference varies a bit, with a smaller tapered head burgeoning out to a 5.5 inch main body. The new battery takes up a fair amount of space - and FOUR, count 'em, four triple A batteries - but is all in all a MUCH better cap than the previous models had. It twists on and off with barely any effort, while still remaining secure and rattle free. There are three buttons: the usual plus for increase, minus for decrease, and then the extra special super dooper power boost button marked with an asterisk. It comes in the usual Fun Factory cardboard box and plastic insert, with a users guide, Toyfluid sample, and the look book of all their other toys.

The silicone itself is the same lovely stuff on all the other matte Fun Factory toys - smooth and velvety feeling, squeezable with a little give, but still firm. This makes it wonderful for quick thrusting, even with a partner, since you can get the pressure you need with enough softness to keep things from getting painful while giving a lot of nice G spot stimulation. You're going to want to be sure to use a fair bit of your favorite water based lube, because the fairly large girth combined with the velvety texture can make for a bit of friction. The curvy shape on the head seems to work particularly well for me; it makes for a delicious undulating caress in all the right places, including some fairly intense (though not pinpoint) G spot stimulation. I want to be able to describe the feeling it gives me more accurately, but somehow I just can't think of the right word. Just know that it's amazing. And combined with those strong, strong vibrations? Orgasms are a given for me. The kind that leave me feeling completely worn out and satisfied, with crazy bed head and messy wet sheets.

It's got a fair amount of bend to the first half. The back motor area isn't really bendy.

And the vibrations? Oh god, they're fantastic. They're very deep, very thrummy, and very strong. I can feel them throughout my entire pelvis, they're so deep. They're fairly well dispersed along the entire length of the toy, but are a bit stronger towards the middle-end where the motor sits. I don't think that's a bad feature, though, since that strong point usually ends up right near my vaginal entrance and all those nerve endings just say "ooohh yeaaah." Perhaps it's just because I have a sensitive clitoris, but that combined with the fairly large punch the Ellove packs I find I don't always need a clitoral vibrator when I'm using this toy. Usually, regardless of the fact that I'm using an internal vibrator, I need something buzzing on my clit for an orgasm to happen. The Elloves vibrations are SO strong and travel SO well, that I get enough of a thrum to not have to bother with a second toy. And that, to me, is insane. And awesome. But mostly kind of crazy.

There are something like 6 settings of strong vibrations (they're a little hard to tell apart at the higher end), and a rollercoaster pattern, plus a few different speeds of pulsing. As for the power-boost button? I don't really use it. It does add a strong kick of extra power to and already strong motor, but it takes A LOT of effort to press (especially if you're a wuss like I am), and you have to keep it held for as long as you want the extra power. I think it would be better if the (already dedicated) button was just a "click once for on, click again to turn off" type of affair. The noise level is about what you'd expect for a toy of this type - there's a definite buzz sound when it's on, but it can be covered by other white noise and a closed door.

As always, your new silicone buddy can be cleaned with warm water and soap for everyday cleaning. Dedicated toy cleaners or wipes work as well, or it can be sanitized with a 10% bleach solution. I wouldn't recommend boiling it or sending it through the dishwasher due to all the mechanical parts.

5/5 stars, of course.

Dayum

2010-04-15T15:41:00.000-05:00

via Maymay (also over at Malesubmissionart)

Video Reviews

2010-04-09T11:51:00.000-05:00

Soo, no new reviews this week, but I did update a few old ones with videos for Eden. I now have a video posted for Buck, Galan, the Club Vibe, and my good ole LayaSpot. Now you can rofl at my rambling! Yaaay!

On Being Fucked Up

2010-04-07T17:02:00.001-05:00

[Trigger warning: abuse, rape]

I was raised in a Catholic household. I had strict parents - or a strict mother, I should say, dad was mostly gone working - and they weren't afraid to exercise their control over me or my siblings. My mother was quick with a sharp word, slap, or whip with an electrical cord when we'd do something wrong, whatever that might be. Part of it, I want to believe, was because that's how she was raised by her step father. But whatever the reason may be, I quickly assumed a submissive position at home. I thought I was worthless. I did what I was asked and hid upstairs the rest of the time reading, or spent long (12 hour stretches) outside, just staying out of her way.

That, I think, is why it was so easy for my neighbor to rape me. His name was Tim, and he lived with his family in a house behind mine. I remember seeing him occasionally, but never really giving him much thought. I mean, there were people everywhere in my neighborhood, coming and going at all hours. I don't really even remember having conversations or confrontations with him at any point - but something I did must have caught his eye, because he tormented me for years.

There's this unfinished area near my house, about a quarter of a block in size, that's mostly grass and some gravel surrounded by trees. I'd wander down there to play a lot, because it was quiet, shady, and no one ever told me not to. This is where Tim caught me one summer afternoon, and I never even thought to run when I first saw him. Other kids came down there all the time, in groups and singly, probably avoiding their family just as much as I was. But that time, it was just us. He grabbed me by the hair, and even though I didn't know what was coming - not really - I yelled and clawed at him. He won out in size and sheer strength, though, slammed me into the dirt pushing off my clothes and muffling me with his forearm. And that was our introduction, and my introduction to sexual abuse.

I most clearly remember limping home after, feeling terrified. I knew what sex was - I mean, the Catholic faith rails against it in all its unholy sin - but I didn't know how to react. Was I going to hell now? Was mom going to be pissed off at me again? What was I supposed to do? Or who was I supposed to tell? So I didn't tell anyone. I washed my clothes. I washed my body. I stayed inside for a long time unless I was absolutely forced to go out. I'd always been a bit of a loner as a child, but this experience compounded it. I didn't bother to reach out and make friends for years - and I still have problems with letting myself be vulnerable.

At some point, I must have gotten a little better, though. Not that I forgot it - but I pushed it away. I didn't think about it. My habits changed, but I did start going outside to play again. Tim, however, had not forgotten me. He tortured me directly - and indirectly - over the course of six years. I don't know what motivated him. Maybe it was the drugs or drunkenness, maybe the thrill of knowing he could change someone's actions, maybe boredom, or a predisposition to violence. I don't know.

He only caught me a few other times (I still refer to it as being caught. Like I was trying to sneak by, and lost). A few more instances of rape, a few times he just smacked me around a little, or injured me just enough in just a way to leave a scar without raising eyebrows. Kids have accidents, you know. I hid every single bit of it as best I could. I was ashamed, I hated myself, but I hated him more.

I suppose the shining light in this is that he did eventually get thrown in jail - on drug and alcohol charges, unrelated to me - and I didn't see him for years. I had time to shove my problems deeper into mental recesses to rot until I really felt like dealing with them, and heal a bit. I only saw him one other time - in passing - but he still had the power to absolutely horrify me. He came by my old house just once when I happened to be outside with the dogs, and I just ran. Back inside, to sit and be sick.

I try to gloss over it, but I dwell on these experiences much more than I should. I can run through every incident rather well - there are small gaps, but so goes memory - and it can make me physically ill. If I spend too much time thinking about it, I start clawing myself up. It's some kind of nervous habit that I don't even realize I'm doing until I snap back to the present and find myself covered in red nail marks or blood. I spent a lot of time hating myself, thinking I was a dirty whore, or spoiled, rotten, that I was just filth, because of everything that happened.

It astounds me some days how strongly I react to the smallest threat of violence. I'm paranoid. I don't go anywhere alone if I can help it. I watch everyone around me, and keep a measured distance. Enough that if they start toward me, I have enough of a head-start that I should be able to outrun them.

I've been lucky enough to never have another man actually rape me. I've had vulgar come-ons thrown my way. Random strangers seem oddly compelled to touch me in ways I find indescribably inappropriate (hands run through my hair if it's down, grabbing my arm, brushing or even gripping my waist - it's insane how often it happens). But either through some stroke of luck, or my own defensiveness and inability to let people get near me, I haven't had more massive incidents.

But I am still fucked up. I still haven't worked this out. But I figure it's time to start trying harder.

I'm a little scared to post this, in fact. Because I expect blame. Or that maybe, someone I know will stumble on this and recognize it as mine. I still haven't really told anyone.

What if they're disgusted too?

Pleasurists #72

2010-04-06T10:12:00.000-05:00

Stripes of Lust by Vanity Zero
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists #71? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #73? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday April 11th at 11:59pm PDT.
Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

Fairies, Fairies and More, More, More Fairies! Deadline: April 11th @ Midnight.
Win Your Very Own LELO Lily! Deadline: April 13th.
Win Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio Deadline: April 15th @ Midnight Central.
Contest! Deadline: April 24th @ 11:59pm.
Ophoria April Sweepstakes Beyond 1 Deadline: April 30th @ Midnight Eastern.
Lover’s Choice April Sweepstakes Horny Hot & Wild Dice Deadline: April 30th @ Midnight Eastern.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #10
Editor’s Pick

Jimmyjane Form 2 by Luvasaurus

The Form 2 oscillating pattern blows my mind, completely out of my skull. Each ear has its own motor, the vibrations go from one ear to the other, stimulating my clit in a whole new way. “Sensation in Stereo” describes this toy perfectly. The dual motors stimulate my clit like it has never been stimulated before.

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
On to the reviews…

Vibrators

Vibrator Upgrade Kit by Joan Price
Fukuoku 9000 by True Pleasures
Fukuoku 9000 by Sammi
Tango III by Luscious Lily
Jimmyjane Form 2 by Luvasaurus
Fun Factory Patchy Paul II by Carrie Ann
Green Dolphin by Jons Babydoll
The Fairy Wand by namelesschaos

Dildos

Anal Toys

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies & Porn

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio by Garnet Joyce

Sex Furniture

Liberator Wing by Syd Vicious

Miscellaneous

I've Never Wanted a Bike More in My Life

2010-04-01T14:04:00.000-05:00

via Thumper's Portfolio

You can make your own terrible ride jokes.

Pleasurists #71

2010-03-30T12:01:00.001-05:00

Jessica Jae by Johari Davis
Welcome to Pleasurists, a round-up of the adult product and sex toy reviews that came out in the last seven days. For updates and information follow our RSS Feed and Twitter.
Did you miss Pleasurists #70? Read it all here. Do you have a review for Pleasurists #72? Be sure to read our submission guidelines and then use our submission form and submit it before Sunday March 21st at 11:59pm PDT.
Want to win some swag? All you’ve got to do is enter.

March O’ the Cocks Contest Deadline: March 31st @ Midnight Pacific.
Blog Anniversary Contest Deadline: March 31st.
Jessie’s I Dare You Spring Giveaway Deadline: March 31st @ Midnight.
Win a Green Ophoria V Ring Deadline: March 31st.
Adult Easter Egg Hunt! Deadline: April 2nd @ 11am Central.
Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving Deadline: April 3rd @ 11:59pm Eastern.
A Wee Honey of a Dipper Deadline: April 4th.
Contest! Deadline: April 24th @ 11:59pm.

Looking for sexy posts other than reviews?

e[lust] #10
Editor’s Pick

Rascal the Baller by Wilhelmina Wang

Imagine my shock when I got it in the mail and realized it was FUCKING GINORMOUS: this Rascal is a whopping 17.5″ x 2.5″.Moral of the story: don’t order a toy without carefully checking the specs.Meanwhile, I was stuck with the damn thing and had to do something with it in order to write a review. The question was, what?

Editor

Scarlet Lotus St. Syr
On to the reviews…
Vibrators

Dildos

Topsy Turvy by HotMoviesForHer Sex Toy Crew
Topco Buster by EffinSara
Vixen Astrovibe by Epiphora
Whipspider Rubberworks Jellyfish by Carrie Ann
Buster by Darling Dove
Dai-Do #1 by Carrie Ann

Anal Toys

Flexi Felix by Epiphora
Cal Exotics Aluminum Mini Plug by EffinSara
Njoy Pfun by Epiphora

Toys for Cocks

Lube, Massage Oil, Bath Stuff, & etc.

BDSM/Fetish

Adult Books/Games

Adult Movies & Porn

Lingerie

Erotique SexyFishnet Top with G-String by Sommer Marsden

Storage

Devine Toy Box by Alley

Miscellaneous

Vixen Creations Mistress

2010-03-29T16:19:00.001-05:00

The Vibrating Mistress, to be exact. Molded from Vixen Creations premium, supple but firm standard silicone (as opposed to their uber-plushy VixSkin) in a deep robin's egg blue, the Mistress is a perfect starter dildo. That's not to say it has nothing to offer more experienced users, though - this is a luxury toy that's unfailingly useful.

For some reason this toy refused to show true to color in photos. It's actually more blue than green.

Our Mistress is six inches long with a girth of one and a quarter inches, which is about a four inch circumference. The base is large and sturdy (it will stand freely on your bedside table or kitchen sink - bonus for ease of cleaning!) but is still flexible enough that it won't be painful in a harness. And it's definitely a base large enough and sturdy enough to work for even the roughest of harness play, so long as you have a properly sized O ring. The base also has an opening for the included silver bullet vibrator, but if you already have a favorite bullet you can swap it out easily. The bullet well easily accommodates my entire middle finger (which is about 3 inches long), and has some stretch to fit most thin style bullets or even standard slimline insertables. Make sure you put a dab of lube on the bullet before sliding it in, or getting it out when you're finished is something of a challenge. (I may have tried it dry, just to see what would happen. Not. Fun.)

I actually really, really enjoyed this toy. I have a penchant for soft, plush silicone, and the Mistress certainly delivers in that department - squeezable and silky smooth silicone in a gorgeous color. The toy is firm enough that it provides adequate G spot (or P spot) stimulation, but not so firm that it ends up feeling uncomfortable or just like any old plastic toy. I think Vixen silicone is actually the plushiest variety of any toy I've ever tried. It's softer than anything I've tried from Fun Factory, and softer than the standard Tantus silicone (not quite squishier than their O2, I think) but not quite the plushness of Vixen's own VixSkin.

The defined head and frenulum add a bit of realism and extra stimulation without feeling like too much; they give just enough extra oomph to balance out the completely smooth length. (This is coming from someone who doesn't get along well with defined textures, though. If you like a lot of ribbing or nubs, the Mistress probably won't have enough for you.) The vibrations from the bullet travel the whole length of the toy to give another little something extra, but do weaken some as they get to the tip. You can remedy this if you have a stronger bullet to replace the standard watch battery one, or just press a superstrong toy against the base to really get it going.

The Mistress comes in the same simple but elegant packaging I've come to associate with Vixen Creations - a plastic tube with a removable top and a sticker talking about the company. Just like all their other toys, this one comes with an amazing lifetime warranty; if the toy ever shows a defect (that wasn't caused by you doing something very, very silly like leaving it out to be chewed on by a pet or stolen by a toy smitten lover) send it back to Vixen with receipt for a replacement. Even if it's 3 years from now!

Being silicone, the Mistress should only play with your water based lubes. It can be washed with soap and water, boiled, bleached, wiped with alcohol or toy cleaners, or thrown in the dishwasher to clean. Just make sure you take the bullet out of the base first (and clean out any lube that's down in the opening)!

Thanks a million, Babeland!

I've Become Addicted to Tumblr

2010-03-26T15:18:00.001-05:00

It's almost become worse than my long standing love for losing untold hours surfing DeviantArt. Doesn't hurt that there are so many fantastic Tumblr archives out there....

via littlemisterman

Because really, wouldn't this just make work so much more bearable?

Cal Exotics Couture Masseur

2010-03-21T18:06:00.002-05:00

The Couture Masseur is Cal Exotics' newest clitoral stimulator, and falls nicely into their new silicone line in terms of quality materials and appearance. The package it arrives in is a simple cardboard box with a splash of water and "Cal Exotics Couture Masseur" printed on it, along with a few material info blurbs. The massagers upper half (from the metallic strip up) is made of ABS plastic, and the lower half is covered in a plush, velvety silicone. It's the same delightfully tactile silicone as the rest of the Couture line, and even though it's a relatively thin layer (it feels like a few millimeters coating the plastic body) it still has a small amount of give.

The toy takes two AAA batteries, which are inserted in the back curve of the vibrator. The +/- directions for insertion are printed faintly above the actual battery compartment, in the same reflective pink color as the surrounding plastic. The battery compartment latch was actually a little hard to open the first time, but became much easier each successive time. The massager claims to be waterproof, and actually makes good on that claim. There's a very large, thick rubber mold around the entire battery compartment that keeps any water from getting in and causing problems, whether you're in the tub or just cleaning your toy. The rubber ring does make the batteries slide in and out slowly, and occasionally means you have to shake the toy to get them out.

There are two buttons for operating the Masseur, a designated on/off switch and a button for scrolling through the seven functions, both of which glow red when the toy is on. They're located in the center groove towards the front half of the massager, and this is where I start having problems. The way I end up holding the vibrator, I ALWAYS end up with one finger resting on the on/off switch. This means as soon as I apply pressure, the vibrator shuts off, infinitely frustrating me at the worst possible time. This seems like a problem that could easily have been avoided with the addition of a lock feature. Of course, I can just hold the toy differently and my problems are solved, right? Kind of.

Holding your vibrator like this will result in frustration and rage.

The functions are fairly standard: low, medium, and high steady vibrations and four different combinations of pulses and roller coaster type patterns. The only problem is, it feels like the real "high" level is missing. I don't usually need to use the highest level on any vibrator to reach orgasm, but with this one I find myself needing it. I think this is a combination of the toy not *quite* having as much strength as comparable massagers (Laya Spot, Better than Chocolate), and the fact that the vibrations themselves are a bit higher pitched than the type I generally favor. I can get off - and it doesn't take an excessive amount of time - but I think I've encountered one toy that couldn't do anything for me so that's not entirely unusual. If you know you need moderate to very strong vibrations to orgasm, this isn't the toy that will get you there.

The Masseur itself is about 5 inches long and a little over 1.5 inches wide on the back-end curve. Below, I've set it next to a standard computer mouse, the Laya Spot, and the Better than Chocolate for size and overall shape comparisons. All of the toys are situated with the strongest vibrating point towards the top of the photo:

As you can see, the Masseur is in the same sized ballpark as the other two. It's the longest in length, and falls directly between the other to vibrators in width. The Masseur has the least amount of curve to its underside, which just ends up meaning you have to angle it more (I did, at least) to get better clitoral contact.

Texture wise, the Laya has the least amount of drag, while the BtC has the most. The Masseur falls somewhere between them again, though I'd say the silicone has more drag than the Laya's elastomed. As for vibration strength, in my opinion the Laya is the strongest (mid-to-low pitch vibes, very gentle to pretty strong vibrations), the BtC is second (very rumbly vibrations, moderately strong) and the Masseur feels the weakest to me (higher pitched, surface vibes, in combination with only moderate strength). This might not hold true for everyone, though. I think if you know you tend to favor more high pitched vibrations, or tend to really like little bullets, the Masseur will be a great large-style option for you.

The curve of the toy and silky silicone do make this little Masseur work well as a general body massager for foreplay, though. If you're looking for something to ease the work you have to do with your hands, or just add a new sensation to your old routine, this wouldn't be a bad choice. (The vibrations are focused in the clitoral tip, so keep in mind that the strength wouldn't be perfectly balanced in use.) The curve cups over pretty much every natural curve of the neck, back, and legs, and using the rounded tip is nice for a more concentrated deep muscle massage.

Due to the silicone coating, this massager isn't compatible with silicone based lubes - use your favorite water based variety to add slip and slide to any of your adventures. Since it's waterproof, as well as made of silicone and plastic, your best bet for cleaning is a warm wash with soap and water or a toy cleaner. Pay an extra bit of attention to the line between the silicone base and plastic upper, because it does have the potential to collect a bit of fluid depending on how you use it.

3/5 stars. The Masseur is, overall, just average. No horrifying faults, but no astounding features either.

Masseur Clitoral vibrator by California Exotic Material: Silicone / Plastic Safety: $0.00 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

Ophoria Smooth K Balls

2010-03-17T11:12:00.004-05:00

I picked up the K Balls from Ophoria mostly because I was curious. Curious, and paranoid. You see, even though I could practice my kegels perfectly well without any additional devices, I'm prone to senseless worry. What if I was somehow doing it wrong? What if there's some super secret muscle hidden down there that I'm just not capable of finding on my own?!?! Nonsense, but so it goes. More of my interest was based on the fact that kegel balls are supposed to be something of a challenge for your muscles even if you're already doing your exercises. I'd heard they were supposed to test you, keep you working to hold them in, and in the process produce a fairly pleasurable (if mild) vibration. Not to mention give you a super pussy wrought with orgasmic power!

Perhaps my expectations were too high. They were just... average. The K Balls have some really nice aspects, and some things that just made them feel awkward for me.

Let's start with the size; this isn't exactly a dainty exercise tool we're looking at here. The balls are 4 inches in length, just a hair under 1.5 inches across, and are completely solid with no give. They feel like hard plastic with a silicone covering, and the removal string is a thin loop of silicone material as well (it actually looks like it's some kind of rope coated in silicone to me. There's a bit of thread-like texturing on it, but I'm not sure I want to risk damaging it. I also tried e-mailing Ophoria's customer service line a few weeks ago asking about it but as yet have gotten no response.). The surface feels completely smooth in use just as the name implies, though you can feel the little white decorative bits if you run a finger over them. They come packaged in a simple white and pink cardboard box with their title and a few material details printed on it. Also included is a generic usage manual - basic info about cleaning, the dangers of unprotected sharing, not using damaged toys, but nothing specific about using vaginal balls - but there's no separate pouch for easier storage later.

The two outer balls have two small, inner spheres (called shakers in the manual) that rattle about to increase the K Balls ability to stimulate your vaginal muscles. The shakers really are fantastic, they're strong enough to feel in your hand and with every step your take or shake you may choose to do. This does make a bit of noise (the kind of sound two marbles make if you roll them together in your hand), and they're audible to me at almost all times. They sound like tiny maracas in your hand, and a muted clack once inserted. It's not overly noticeable unless you're in a completely silent environment, though, and all the extra stimulation is worth a bit of noise.

Insertion is the first place the K Balls start giving me minor trouble. If I'm not pretty well aroused when I go to use them, the size and firmness are just a bit too much for me and make them completely uncomfortable. A little water based lube and proper preparation can help divert that for the most part. Getting the first ball in is fairly easy when I'm prepared, but the second always seems to give me a bit of trouble. Mostly because that little connector is just silicone and is a little floppy; just pushing against the second ball makes it bend sideways half the time. I've found trying to push the first ball up as far as possible with a finger and then pushing on the second easier than just pushing from the base. The balls are also just a little too long for my anatomy in general - the second ball pokes out of my body no matter how I try and wiggle them around to adjust. It's a fairly irritating feeling for me, and makes it hard for me to use them for more than 15 minutes.

They are really easy to feel, though. The vibrations from the inner shakers are very noticeable, and the hard body gives you something substantial to work your muscles against. They're easy to clean with soap and water or a toy cleaner, and can be boiled since they're silicone and have no mechanical parts. I guess I just really wish that they were smaller. A little shorter, a little less girthy, and they'd be a lot easier for me to use for longer periods of time without discomfort.

3/5 stars

Ophoria K-balls #10 Vaginal balls by Lover's Choice Inc. Material: Silicone Safety: $25.99 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee:

Tantus Pixie

2010-03-09T15:12:00.001-06:00

I have to admit, I'm kind of a slut for anything Tantus makes. Awesome designs, perfect silicone, pretty shapes, they have something for everyone. The Acute and Niagara are still two of my favorite toys, even with all the shiny new additions that I've acquired in the past months. I think the Pixie I picked up is going to go into my long standing favorites as well.

It's a simple toy. It only has six inches in total length, is about 1.5 inches across the head and tapers to a bit less than that through the shaft. There's no texture to it other than the defined bump on the head. It's perfectly smooth and totally flawless. The base is thicker and more sturdy than the ones on the Acute or Buzz, but not quite the thickness of their truly big toys like the Squirt. The silicone mix of this particular dildo is also a bit softer than those other selections - not the O2 squishiness, by any means - while remaining firm. It's pleasantly squeezable with a bit of give, but still plenty rigid enough to give G or P spot stimulation.

Pixie next to the Acute

And of course, it's sparkly. The name practically requires it, doesn't it? The sapphire blue color is a big reason I chose it, though (yeah, I'm a bit of a priss. I *like* having colorful toys). It's somewhat see-through, so if you feel like holding it up in front of your window at midday you'll get some pretty sparkly blue reflections.

So it's smooth, is straight, it's relatively small, doesn't vibrate - it seems like it just wouldn't be anything special, doesn't it? For me, at least, it's a fantastic dildo. I'm not sure why, but the gently bumped head caresses me just right and makes for awesome orgasms. The Pixie is long enough and boasts a pronounced enough bump to hit all the important spots with no problems. As a bonus, it has none of the drawbacks some other toys seem to have for me - it doesn't catch on my pubic bone, there's no uber-ridging to aggravate me, and since it's at most 1.5" across, I don't have to work up to it much like my bigger toys. Maybe I'm just a lazy, over sensitive masturbator, but if you're the same as me you can't go wrong here.

You can also be strange, and give it wings. It's a pixie dildo!

All the usual silicone usage and cleaning rules apply, of course. Soap and water for everyday cleaning, 10% bleach, or boil to sterilize, and avoid silicone based lubes unless you spot test on the base. And just look at that price - $20 for a Tantus toy? Options in clear, purple, and blue? How can you resist?! Spend too much time browsing that close out section or their regular selections and you'll mysteriously be missing your next pay check, though... but who needs money when they can have orgasms and a rainbow dildo collection?

Under the Bed Restraints

2010-03-05T14:36:00.001-06:00

The Under the Bed Restraints are simple in nature, but therein lies the beauty. I've been looking at them for ages, debating whether or not I wanted to take the plunge and buy, but luck would have it that Babeland was kind enough to send them to me. They're easy to set up (there's really not much of a 'set up' to it), are easy to use, and easy to hide away if you need to. They're also great for anyone into restraints but who are unable (or unwilling, or just plain too lazy) to tie intricate knots or mess with heavy duty, free-standing X tower. These restraints are pretty non-threatening all around, so they'd make a nice exploratory toy for anyone just thinking about trying something a shade kinky.

Front and Back

The restraints arrive in a plastic container with a cardboard sheath depicting a girl thoroughly enjoying her bondage experience (including an amusing, pursed lip sexay! face), with basic set up instructions on the reverse side. The system itself consists of four 60" straps stitched to a central 60" connector and four detachable Velcro handcuffs. The connector and straps each have a plastic clip that slides easily for adjusting length (think of the adjusters on backpacks and shoulder bags) and when set up look something like this: >---<. At the end of each strap is a metal O key ring, and each handcuff has a metal lobster claw for attaching

As I said, set up is a snap. Lift the bed, slide the main connector strap into the middle while the hand/leg straps hang off the edge, then drop the mattress back into place. Shimmy the straps into your chosen position, throw your partner down, snap the cuffs in place, and you're ready to rock. (After a few minor adjustments to strap length, that is.) When you're done, you can just shove all the straps and cuffs under the mattress, and nothing is left hanging out that could embarrass you if you had a surprise visitor. The easy installation and break down also makes this system nice if you take a special hotel trip, and are planning on having some kinky sexy times. I tested this system out on a full and king sized bed, and neither gave me problems with being too short. I didn't have a chance to test anything smaller, but considering the overall adjustability, I don't think a smaller bed would be too worrisome.

The included wrist and ankle straps are soft and comfy, and even though they are closed by Velcro still manage to have a strong hold. They're roughly two inches wide, made of a velvety soft fabric with a nylon strap sewn around the outside, and should fit just about anyone. The cuffs can get to a 12 inch circumference (i.e. they can fit even big wrists and ankles, and they can fit smaller bodied calves), but also can also go teeny, to about 5.5 inches. So if you've got pencil wrists like me, you can still be strapped in well enough you won't be able to just slip out. As I mentioned above, the cuffs are where the lobster claws are located when the system is shipped out. However, since the O rings are a standard keyring type, you can move the lobster claws to the straps and attach them to your favorite cuffs. This is awesome if you happen to have a sentimental set, or are restraining someone particularly strong that can break that Velcro hold (Hi, Lev! I'm talking about you!). The O rings themselves will probably give out before the Velcro, though.

Slidable keyrings. Super handy, and not too tough to get open when moving the claw clip.

You can restrain your partner is just about any position. The standard spread eagle is great, of course, but you can also slide the straps around the sides of your bed for a doggie-type style or hog-tie. You can just use the cuffs, hook them together, and get a kind of do-it-yourself armbinder set. Heck, you can lose the bed completely and strap your partner down to a couch or chair. I have a La-Z-Boy recliner that worked particularly well for this, which made for an awesome interrogation scene set up. Basically... let your imagination run wild. Just try not to break anything!

Essentially, if you're looking for an easy to use and comfortable restraint system, the Under the Bed Restraints are perfect. Check them out at Babeland, along with their nice selection of other kinky toys!

Better Than Chocolate

2010-03-02T14:11:00.003-06:00

Nomi Tang's Better Than Chocolate - a vibe with a controversial name and features that seem to make people either sing its praises or call it trash. It has a luxurious, but geeky futuristic look to it that leaves me thinking of a spaceship. It's an ergonomic shape that cups the curve of my pubic bone perfectly while resting equally well in my palm. It comes with a new style of touch control pad (reminiscent of those scroll wheels on an iPod), an easy access battery compartment, and is waterproof up to one meter.

Do I think it's better than chocolate? Yes. But then, I've always thought orgasms were better than candy.

First, let's talk about the packaging. It's a classy bit of work - a cardboard slip over a heavy duty, jewelry storage-esque white box. Once you lose the slipcover, you have a discreet storage box you could leave on your dresser with no questions asked. Also included is a velvet storage pouch for those who'd rather toss the box and a multi-lingual users guide.

The BtC is made of thermoplastic elastomer and polycarbonate, and is incredibly velvety to the touch. It's firm, with no give, but when you run your finger along the body it feels almost like touching velvet fabric. There's no scent or taste, and it has a bit of drag in use. It's similar to matte silicone in this regard, but unlike silicone toys it is compatible with both water based and silicone based lubes. It cannot be sterilized (no bleaching or boiling), though, and the manufacturer recommends only cleaning with soap and warm water.

The on/off button is located on the twist off end opposite the slider. This compartment was a bit troublesome to twist off the first time, but became much easier on the second go and has remained so. The toy takes two AAA batteries, and the battery compartment has well marked +/- directions for you to follow.

Roughly 2.5 inches wide and tall, and about 5 inches long.

The controls really are awesome, if a bit finicky. Using a futuristic looking light up touch pad, you can increase and decrease the strength of the vibrations, change patterns, and lock the toy; all with the minimum effort of a few swipes or taps. The controls are *sensitive* though, so if you happen to brush the slider when using your toy it can change. Just be sure to lock it and you should have no problem.

Unlocked blue light vs. Locked red light

Slide your finger forward (away from your upper body when nestled between your legs) to ease the vibrations higher. Swipe back towards yourself to take them lower. Hold the 'NT' logo at the top of the slider for two seconds, and the blue light will give a short pulse and change patterns. Sliding your finger while in a pulsation/pattern mode doesn't change the vibration intensity. Instead, it changes the speed of the pattern, which is pretty handy and gives you many, many options for intensity and speed. Holding for two seconds at the far end of the slider (closest to the vibrating tip) will turn the LED red and lock your toy. If you decide to take the toy in the bath with you, don't forget that the controls will lock when they're wet. It will be hard to change anything once you get going unless you have a towel on hand to dry everything off again (though you can just click it off completely with the power button). The only exception to this seems to be in the shower... regardless of whether or not it's locked initially, the constantly changing, running water makes the controls wig out. If your preferred locale is the shower, that's probably going to be annoying, but I was pretty much only in there with it for testing purposes.

The vibrations themselves are gorgeous, deep and rumbly. They're focused toward the tip, but even so are somewhat diffuse in nature. This is not to say they are weak - simply, if you NEED pinpoint vibrations directly on your clit, this toy will not be for you. (Personally, I can't stand pinpoint so this vibe is doubly nice for me.) They travel a bit through the body of the toy, but not enough for them to become bothersome and numb my fingers. They also have a great range; the lowest setting is really gentle, but still rumbly (this vibe will never get buzzy on you), and the highest is in a good medium-high range. If you need plug-in (Hitachi, Wahl, etc) like strength, they probably won't get you over the edge even if you like the rumbly nature. I tend to use what would be a middle setting, though it's kind of hard to quantify it since there are no clicks to count.

BtC: Futuristic fighter plane, here to slay my clit.

As for me, this toy has no problems giving me orgasms. They aren't instant (but no toy does that for me), but after ~10 minutes I'll easily have gotten where I want to be. The BtC also leaves me with what I call "throbby clit." You know those masturbation sessions that leave your clit pulsing and throbbing for half an hour after you've finished? This little toy does that for me, whereas most other toys fail to. It's no wonder I'm loving it so much; I think I love it even more than my Laya Spot.

In all, I'd give this toy four stars. It's awesome, fun, and I love it, but it does have some minor quirks that need working out in the controls. I can also see how some users would want another higher level, since it's not quite got that crazy high, "this is almost violent" speed that I personally avoid.

Better than chocolate Clitoral vibrator by Nomi Tang Material: Non-porous TPR Safety: $80.00 Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:	Vroom:	Bee: